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Fiend or Foe
Order of the Stick comic
OOTS0538
Comic no. 538
Date published 8 March 2008
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Celia executes her plan to sneak by the hobgoblin guards on the mining path.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Belkar: This is the dumbest idea in a long history of dumb ideas.
Haley: Says the man who lit the bandit camp on fire.
Celia: Shut up and lay still, both of you. I need to get into character.
Celia: Alter Self!

Panel 2

Celia transforms into a devil with red skin, horns, bat wings, and a barbed tail. Her speech balloons turn red.
Celia: There. Not bad.
Celia: Though I sort of wish I could change my clothes with that spell too. Pink doesn't really match...

Panel 3

Hobgoblin officer #1: Halt! Who goes there?
Hobgoblin officer #2: Hey, I wanted to say it this time.
Hobgoblin officer #1: Zip it.

Panel 4

Celia: My name is Darkblood Gloomgloom, evil fiendish necromancer. I'm just returning home after purchasing three fresh Grade-A corpses from your marketplace, upon which I will conduct experiments far too horrible to even contemplate.
Celia: This is my demon-cat familiar... uh... Mr. Scummy.

Panel 5

Hobgoblin officer #2: What sort of experiments?
Celia: I just said they were far too horrible to contemplate!
Celia: Geez, pay attention.
Hobgoblin officer #2: Oh, right, sorry.

Panel 6

Hobgoblin officer #2: OK, well, you're a little clichéd, but you seem evil enough. You may pass.
Celia: Great!
Hobgoblin officer #1: Just a moment. If you're really a necromancer, why are you lugging your own cart instead of having a zombie do it for you?
Hobgoblin officer #1: Maybe you should show us a little bit of your dark power, just so that we can be sure.

Panel 7

Celia: My dark power? Right! Right.
Celia: Because I am totally a necromancer, and not a sorcerer who didn't happen to take any necromancy spells...
Celia: Um, OK... Arise dead corpse, and take on an unholy semblance of life! Arise!

Panel 8

Beat. Nothing happens. Celia looks back at the cart anxiously.

Panel 9

Celia: I said, "ARISE, dead halfling corpse that is right in front of me, and take on a semblance of life!" NOW!
Celia hits Belkar in the face with a "smack!"
Belkar: OW!
Belkar: OK, OK, I'm arising already.

Panel 10

Celia: See? Through my mastery of the forbidden arts, the dead walk again!
Hobgoblin officer #1: I dunno, he doesn't really LOOK undead...

Panel 11

Belkar sinks a dagger in the hobgoblin's face. shthunk.

Panel 12

The hobgoblin falls to the ground, dead, "whumph!"
Belkar: Anyone ELSE wanna discuss my creature type with me?
Hobgoblin officer #2: No, no, I think we're all set here.
Hobgoblin officer #2: Have a nice day, and thanks for the promotion.

D&D Context Edit

  • Alter Self is a 2nd level spell that allows the caster to change his or her form to that of another creature, though none of the new creatures abilities are gained.
  • Zombies are in the Undead creature type. With zero intelligence they typically do not talk, except perhaps to say, "brains."

Trivia Edit

  • The title is a pun on the phrase "friend or foe". Fiends, particularly the diabolical type, are nearly always foes, except perhaps to hobgoblins.
  • Belkar set fire to the Bandit Clan of Wooden Forest camp in #157.

External Links Edit

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