|“Fiend or Foe”|
|Order of the Stick comic|
|Date published||8 March 2008|
|View the comic|
Celia executes her plan to sneak by the hobgoblin guards on the mining path.
- Roy Greenhilt ◀ ▶
- Haley Starshine ◀ ▶
- Belkar Bitterleaf ◀ ▶
- Mr. Scruffy ◀ ▶
- Celia (also as Darkblood Gloomgloom) ◀ ▶
- Two hobgoblin officers
- Three hobgoblin swordsmen
- Eight hobgoblin archers
- Panel 1
Belkar: This is the dumbest idea in a long history of dumb ideas.
Haley: Says the man who lit the bandit camp on fire.
Celia: Shut up and lay still, both of you. I need to get into character.
Celia: Alter Self!
- Panel 2
Celia transforms into a devil with red skin, horns, bat wings, and a barbed tail. Her speech balloons turn red.
Celia: There. Not bad.
Celia: Though I sort of wish I could change my clothes with that spell too. Pink doesn't really match...
- Panel 3
Hobgoblin officer #1: Halt! Who goes there?
Hobgoblin officer #2: Hey, I wanted to say it this time.
Hobgoblin officer #1: Zip it.
- Panel 4
Celia: My name is Darkblood Gloomgloom, evil fiendish necromancer. I'm just returning home after purchasing three fresh Grade-A corpses from your marketplace, upon which I will conduct experiments far too horrible to even contemplate.
Celia: This is my demon-cat familiar... uh... Mr. Scummy.
- Panel 5
Hobgoblin officer #2: What sort of experiments?
Celia: I just said they were far too horrible to contemplate!
Celia: Geez, pay attention.
Hobgoblin officer #2: Oh, right, sorry.
- Panel 6
Hobgoblin officer #2: OK, well, you're a little clichéd, but you seem evil enough. You may pass.
Hobgoblin officer #1: Just a moment. If you're really a necromancer, why are you lugging your own cart instead of having a zombie do it for you?
Hobgoblin officer #1: Maybe you should show us a little bit of your dark power, just so that we can be sure.
- Panel 7
Celia: My dark power? Right! Right.
Celia: Because I am totally a necromancer, and not a sorcerer who didn't happen to take any necromancy spells...
Celia: Um, OK... Arise dead corpse, and take on an unholy semblance of life! Arise!
- Panel 8
Beat. Nothing happens. Celia looks back at the cart anxiously.
- Panel 9
Celia: I said, "ARISE, dead halfling corpse that is right in front of me, and take on a semblance of life!" NOW!
Celia hits Belkar in the face with a "smack!"
Belkar: OK, OK, I'm arising already.
- Panel 10
Celia: See? Through my mastery of the forbidden arts, the dead walk again!
Hobgoblin officer #1: I dunno, he doesn't really LOOK undead...
- Panel 11
Belkar sinks a dagger in the hobgoblin's face. shthunk.
- Panel 12
The hobgoblin falls to the ground, dead, "whumph!"
Belkar: Anyone ELSE wanna discuss my creature type with me?
Hobgoblin officer #2: No, no, I think we're all set here.
Hobgoblin officer #2: Have a nice day, and thanks for the promotion.
D&D Context Edit
- Alter Self is a 2nd level spell that allows the caster to change his or her form to that of another creature, though none of the new creatures abilities are gained.
- Zombies are in the Undead creature type. With zero intelligence they typically do not talk, except perhaps to say, "brains."
- The title is a pun on the phrase "friend or foe". Fiends, particularly the diabolical type, are nearly always foes, except perhaps to hobgoblins.
- Belkar set fire to the Bandit Clan of Wooden Forest camp in #157.