|“Except, You Know, That”|
|Order of the Stick comic|
|Date published||2 February 2015|
|View the comic|
Bozzok gloats over his plan.
- Haley Starshine ◀ ▶
- Bandana Secundus ◀ ▶
- Crystal (as golem) ◀ ▶
- Bozzok ◀ ▶
- Hieronymus Grubwiggler ◀ ▶
- Three Gnomes
- Panel 1
Bozzok watches from the abandoned building.
Bozzok: Run away all you like, Starshine. My Crystal Golem will chase you forever.
- Panel 2
Bozzok: She’ll never get tired or hungry. Or forget what she’s supposed to be doing.
Bozzok: Or get bored with what she’s doing and decide to go get high instead.
Bozzok: Really, it’s an improvement all around.
- Panel 3
Grubwiggler: I’m glad you approve of my handiwork, Bozzok. She may be my finest creation yet.
Bozzok: Oh, indeed, Grubwiggler. Raising you from the dead to build me the perfect killer was one of my better decisions.
- Panel 4
Flashback to Haley and Crystal in Hieronymus Grubwiggler's castle.
Bozzok (inset): Your death during the retrieval of Starshine’s ally’s corpse was yet another of Crystal’s sloppy mistakes, not to mention a waste of talent.
Crystal: DEATH ATTACK!
Crystal impales Grubwiggler, "SCCHTLRK!!"
- Panel 5
Grubwiggler: Is that why you requested that I retain her self-awareness? To conserve her expertise?
Bozzok: No reason to wash all those murder skills down the drain, I say.
- Panel 6
Bozzok: Sure, it cost five times as much as a flesh golem normally would—
Bozzok: —but it’s a better use for Haley’s money than resurrecting all the guild peons she killed.
Bozzok: I can always recruit more low-level thieves.
- Panel 7
Cut to Crystal chasing Bandana and Haley.
Bozzok (inset): Plus, the fact that she remembers Starshine killing her only makes her stronger with rage.
Crystal: I’M GOING TO
Crystal: TEAR OFF YOUR HEAD
Crystal: AND HIT YOU IN THE FACE WITH IT!
- Panel 8
Cut back to the abandoned building.
Bozzok: No one humiliates me in front of my guild, Starshine. I’m going to mount your head on my wall, right above my desk.
Bozzok: I’m thinking a tasteful oak plaque, with maybe a brass nameplate.
- Panel 9
Bozzok: There’s not a single thing you can do to stop me from watching Crystal run you down and punch you to—
- Panel 10
- Panel 11
Bozzok: They went around a corner.
D&D Context Edit
- Death Attack is a class feature of the Assassin prestige class. If successful the attack can instantly kill an opponent.
- Haley defeated Bozzok and the guild in #619.