|“Evil, But Cost-Effective”|
|Order of the Stick comic|
|Date published||8 February 2004|
|View the comic|
- Panel 1
Xykon and the Monster in the Darkness are scrying Roy when Redcloak enters the room
Redcloak: Lord Xykon?
Xykon: Shhh! This dork is about to set off like 100 traps.
- Panel 2
In the scrying spell off-panel, the traps are sprung, "Schglunck! Bzzzzzz! Impale! Splorcth!! Slice! Slice!"
Roy (off-panel): AARRGGGHH!! AAH!! AAAA!!!! Oh gods, the pain! The pain!
Xykon: Hahahaha! Hee.
Monster In The Darkness: Hahaa! *snort*
- Panel 3
The traps continue to spring off-panel, "Shred!"
Roy (off-panel): Argh! fire ants!
Xykon: That was great. That trap was totally worth the 10,000 gp. Heh heh.
Redcloak: The ogre chiefs are here, Master. They are asking for higher wages.
- Panel 4
Redcloak follows Xykon stage left
Xykon: Wages?!? But I don't pay them in the first place!
Redcloak: That does seem to be the crux of the issue, sir.
- Panel 5
Xykon: Feh!! What do those lunkheads need money for? They're just going to die on the end of some adventure's sword anyway.
Redcloak (off panel): Might I be so bold as to suggest not mentioning that to them, sir?
- Panel 6
Ogre Chief: Xykon, my ogres fight for—
- Panel 7
Xykon casts Chain Lightning (unnamed) at the ogres, "Zzzzzap!"
- Panel 8
Xykon casts Animate Dead (unnamed) on the corpses
- Panel 9
Xykon (walking of stage right): There! Zombie ogres, just as strong, but they eat less. Problem solved.
Redcloak: uh... very clever, sir.
Zombie Ogre: brains.
- Panel 10
Redcloak walks stage left
- Panel 11
Redcloak approaches a group of goblins in black clothing.
Goblin: So, did you ask him about our 401k plan?
Redcloak: Now is probably not the best time.
- In panel 7, when Xykon Chain Lightning’s the Ogre Chieftains to death, the animal head wrap of the left Chieftain opens its eyes in shock.
- Turning things into zombies makes them a d12 HD creature, making most basic classless humanoids tougher.
- A 401(k) is an employer-sponsored retirement with tax benefits under U.S. law.