Evil, But Cost-Effective
Order of the Stick comic
Comic no. 37
Date published 8 February 2004
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Xykon concludes a wage negotiation as only he can.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Xykon and the Monster in the Darkness are scrying Roy when Redcloak enters the room
Redcloak: Lord Xykon?
Xykon: Shhh! This dork is about to set off like 100 traps.

Panel 2

In the scrying spell off-panel, the traps are sprung, "Schglunck! Bzzzzzz! Impale! Splorcth!! Slice! Slice!"
Roy (off-panel): AARRGGGHH!! AAH!! AAAA!!!! Oh gods, the pain! The pain!
Xykon: Hahahaha! Hee.
Monster In The Darkness: Hahaa! *snort*

Panel 3

The traps continue to spring off-panel, "Shred!"
Roy (off-panel): Argh! fire ants!
Xykon: That was great. That trap was totally worth the 10,000 gp. Heh heh.
Redcloak: The ogre chiefs are here, Master. They are asking for higher wages.

Panel 4

Redcloak follows Xykon stage left
Xykon: Wages?!? But I don't pay them in the first place!
Redcloak: That does seem to be the crux of the issue, sir.

Panel 5

Xykon: Feh!! What do those lunkheads need money for? They're just going to die on the end of some adventure's sword anyway.
Redcloak (off panel): Might I be so bold as to suggest not mentioning that to them, sir?

Panel 6

Ogre Chief: Xykon, my ogres fight for—

Panel 7

Xykon casts Chain Lightning (unnamed) at the ogres, "Zzzzzap!"

Panel 8

Xykon casts Animate Dead (unnamed) on the corpses

Panel 9

Xykon (walking of stage right): There! Zombie ogres, just as strong, but they eat less. Problem solved.
Redcloak: uh... very clever, sir.
Zombie Ogre: brains.

Panel 10

Redcloak walks stage left

Panel 11

Redcloak approaches a group of goblins in black clothing.
Goblin: So, did you ask him about our 401k plan?
Redcloak: Now is probably not the best time.

Trivia Edit

  • In panel 7, when Xykon Chain Lightning’s the Ogre Chieftains to death, the animal head wrap of the left Chieftain opens its eyes in shock.
  • Turning things into zombies makes them a d12 HD creature, making most basic classless humanoids tougher.
  • A 401(k) is an employer-sponsored retirement with tax benefits under U.S. law.

External Links Edit

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