With Haley's help, Tarquin meets a terrible ending.
Cast[]
Transcript[]
- Panel 1, Page 1
Tarquin: Elan, please—Don't you think this has gone on long enough? There's no reason we can't talk about this like adults.
Elan: You're only saying that now 'cause your ride bailed on you!
Tarquin: Well, obviously, but that doesn't make it untrue.
- Panel 2, Page 1
Tarquin: I admit that I may have overreacted, but just like you, I want this story between us to be as good as possible.
Tarquin: Perhaps I have been too... restrictive... about how that story should proceed.
- Panel 3, Page 1
Tarquin: I have an idea—why doesn't my group fund a whole legion of adventurers, and we'll put your buddy Greenhilt in charge of them all?
Tarquin: That way, you can command your own squad while still reporting to him.
Tarquin: At the start of each quest, he can grumpily tell you that you're a loose cannon that doesn't play by the rules, and then everything pretty much revolves around you after that.
- Panel 4, Page 1
Elan: Do you really think that we're going to work with you after what you've tried to do??
Tarquin: But everyone gets what they want with this plan!
Elan: I don't want you to get what you want! Forget it!
- Panel 5, Page 1
Tarquin: Ugh, your mother was just as unwilling to compromise.
Tarquin: Look, Elan, I think I'm being very generous admitting that I've partly contributed to this current climate of—
- Panel 6, Page 1
Haley, on the deck, prepares two arrows on her bow, while pushing the bow with her left foot.
Haley: HEY! TARQUIN!!
Haley: Catch.
- Panel 7, Page 1
Haley, shoots the arrows at Tarquin, while Elan looks surprised.
Haley: Nnnh!
- Panel 8, Page 1
Tarquin looks directly at the arrows, aimed at his face.
- Panel 9, Page 1
Tarquin snatches both arrows, "snatch! snatch!", thus getting his hands off the ship.
- Panel 10, Page 1
Tarquin starts falling from the ship and let the arrows go.
- Panel 11, Page 1
Tarquin barely manages to catch onto the ship, only a few fingers away from falling.
Tarquin: Elan! Elan, help me!
Tarquin: And yourself, since this is a perfect opportunity for the hero to showcase how much better he is than the villain!
- Panel 1, Page 2
Tarquin: Elan, son, I know we don't see eye-to-eye on much, but I think we agree that we need a better conclusion than this.
Tarquin: How about you take me prisoner? That seems popular nowadays.
- Panel 2, Page 2
Tarquin: We could have some really intense interrogation scenes where I try to subtly manipulate you from inside my cell!
Tarquin: What d'ya say?
Elan: You know, the first time I met Nale, we ended up in almost the exact same situation.
- Panel 3, Page 2
Elan: He wound up hanging over a pit of monsters, and I pulled him up.
Elan: He didn't understand why I did it. I told him it was because I was the Good Twin, not the Neutral Twin.
- Panel 4, Page 2
Tarquin: Good, good, glad to hear it. Now pull me up. I think my fingers are slipping.
Elan: But see, Dad, that's the thing.
- Panel 5, Page 2
Elan: I'm not a twin anymore.
- Panel 6, Page 2
Elan: And you're not the real villain.
Tarquin finally loses his grip from the ship.
- Panel 7, Page 2
Elan: Don't worry.
Elan: You'll live.
Tarquin starts falling from the ship.
- Panel 8, Page 2
Tarquin keeps falling from the ship.
- Panel 9, Page 2
Julio Scoundrél watches Tarquin falling, while still hanging from the rope.
- Panel 10, Page 2
Tarquin is seen falling in the distance, down to the desert.
- Panel 1, Page 3
Tarquin hits the ground
- Panel 2, Page 3
Tarquin rises from the ground, very angry
Tarquin: Elan! This arc isn't over yet!
- Panel 3, Page 3
Tarquin: Where's the growth? You didn't lose anything! Nothing has changed!
- Panel 4, Page 3
Tarquin: YOU GET BACK HERE AND GIVE THIS PLOT A SATISFYING RESOLUTION THIS INSTANT!!
- Panel 5, Page 3
Tarquin: ELAN!
Tarquin: ELAN, THERE'S NO SENSE OF CLOSURE!
Tarquin: I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!
- Panel 6, Page 3
Tarquin: THIS IS A TERRIBLE ENDING!!!
The Mechane flies off to the sunset, leaving Tarquin behind.
D&D Context[]
- Haley is able to fire two arrows at once with her Manyshot feat.
- Tarquin's ability to snatch two arrows at once is controversial. Snatch Arrows only allows him to snatch one per round, so it must be either a magic item or perhaps an epic-level feat.
Trivia[]
- This is the second to last appearance of Tarquin thus far, and the last of him in person. The only other appearance he has made since this strip is when he is on the cover of Blood Runs in the Family when that book appears in #966. His whereabouts and current schemes are unknown.
- Elan had to choose whether or not to save Nale as he hung from the bridge in #67, Cliffhanger.
- This is the second time Tarquin is shown to catch two arrows at once, previous being in comic #925.