|“Dungeon Real Estate”|
|Order of the Stick comic|
|Date published||8 June 2005|
|View the comic|
Team Evil has to do some dungeon crawling of their own.
- Team Evil
- Eight Hobgoblins
- Panel 1
Redcloak is pulling the regenerating Xykon in a wagon. They pass several dead hobgoblins who were crushed by a rockslide.
Demon-Roach #1: Hey, what's a dead hobgoblin's favorite flavor of ice cream?
Demon-Roach #2: What?
Demon-Roach #1: Rocky road!
Demon-Roach #2: Bwahahahaha!
Xykon: Good job clearing the path, Redcloak. We'll make a proper villain of you yet.
Redcloak: Thank you, Lord Xykon. And may I congratulate you on growing arms and a spine again.
- Panel 2
Redcloak: But if you don't mind me asking, sir, why are we bringing all of these hobgoblins along with us?
Xykon: Because the tower will be filled with monsters, and not the kind I'm controlling.
- Panel 3
Xykon: See, there's one unavoidable fact about dungeon ownership. If you leave it empty, some random monster is going to show up and start living there.
- Panel 4
Xykon: I once went down the shore for the weekend, and when I got back, three manticores and an umber hulk were hanging new drapes in my living room.
- Panel 5
Xykon: I haven't been here in a few decades, who knows what might be living there these days.
- Panel 6
Monster in the Darkness: I'm not going in.
Monster in the Darkness: I don't wanna go! There might be something scary in there!
- Panel 7
Xykon: You've got to be—look, there's nothing in there any scarier than you.
Redcloak: Sir, he's about as scary as musty styrofoam.
Xykon: Correction: any scarier than you SHOULD be.
- Panel 8
Xykon: We're seriously evil badasses here. I'm a mighty lich sorcerer, Redcloak is high priest of his evil goblin deity, and you—well, we all know how powerful you are.
- Panel 9
Xykon: There's simply no way a bunch of random monsters could ever defeat the three of us.
Monster in the Darkness: I guess you're right. Thanks.
- Panel 10
Redcloak: Just out of curiosity, is that in the same way that a human fighter with a broken sword could never defeat us?
Xykon: Hey, look, I just regenerated a finger. Guess which one.
D&D Context Edit
- Manticores and Umber hulks are monsters in the game.
- Unoccupied or ruined dungeons do have specific game mechanics for random encounters.
- Roy (a human fighter with a broken sword) defeated Xykon in #114.