|“Dramatic Pre-Battle Speech”|
|Order of the Stick comic|
|Date published||19 September 2004|
|View the comic|
Roy makes the requisite pre-battle speech. However, it just doesn't match up with reality.
- The Order of the Stick
- Xykon ◀ ▶
- Redcloak ◀ ▶
- Two Demon-Roaches ◀ ▶
- Five Goblins
- Panel 1
The Order stands in front of a door. Belkar has just killed a goblin.
Roy: Hey, Belkar, could you wrap that up and listen here?
Roy: This is it. According to Elan's directions, Xykon's throne room is on the other side of this door here.
- Panel 2
Roy: We have no idea to what lengths Xykon will go to utterly destroy us once we enter this room.
- Panel 3
Cut to the throne room.
Xykon: Remember, guys, we want one of these schmucks to open my gate for me, so let one or two of them live.
- Panel 4
Cut back to Roy.
Roy: Or what fiendish plans his minions have in store for us.
- Panel 5
Cut to Redcloak, who sets up a buffet table with a banner above it that says "Welcome Order of the Stick"
Demon Cockroach: Nice spread.
- Panel 6
Cut back to Roy.
Roy: What we do know for sure is that Haley is in mortal danger even as I speak.
- Panel 7
Cut to Haley, elsewhere in the dungeon. Haley has just incapacitated a goblin and collected some gold it.
Haley: 436 gp that I don't have to split with the party, 437 gp that I don't have to split with the party, 438 gp...
Goblin: The pain...
- Panel 8
Roy: And we also know that we are going to kick that bony necromancer's scrawny undead ass right now!
Belkar: Hell yeah!
- Panel 9
Roy: Demihumans, start your castings.
Vaarsuvius: Bull's Strength!
Durkon: Shield of Faith!
- Panel 10
Roy: And the most important buff yet?
- Panel 11
Roy: Everyone ready?
Durkon: Aye, lad.
Vaarsuvius: I am.
Belkar: Kick ass.
- Panel 12
Roy kicks open the door, with a "CRASH!"
D&D Context Edit
- Bull's Strength is a 2nd-level spell that provides a buff to a character's Strength score.
- Shield of Faith is a 1st-level Cleric spell that gives a character more armor.
- Disruption is a fictional spell that provides a weapon with something like the Disruption magical ability.