Donation Drive
Order of the Stick comic
Comic no. 939
Date published 17 January 2014
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"This is Not a Thing That is Going to Happen" "Resisting a Rest"
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Belkar questions Roy's decision about keeping Durkon around them in his current condition. The Order members offer their help to Durkon.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Durkon: All done, laddies! I've replenished me spells an' can cure yer assorted ailments.
Roy: Great! Belkar first—he needs his levels restored and his blood supply replenished.
Belkar: With my own blood. Not your blood in some nutty vampire blood pact.

Panel 2

Durkon: Restoration.
Belkar: Don't expect me to be grateful or anything.

Panel 3

Durkon: Wouldnae dream of it. 'Twas na meself when I drank yer blood, lad.
Belkar: As opposed to now?
Durkon: Aye. I feel right as Thor's rain.

Panel 4

In the background "Durkon" heals Haley's broken arm.
Durkon: Regenerate!
Belkar: So, do we have a strategy, or should we just gang rush him and drive a stake through his heart?
Roy: What? No! Why would we do that?

Panel 5

Belkar: Gee, I don't know, because he's a mockery of all we hold dear?!
Roy: Since when did you have a problem with mockery?
Belkar: Mockery is one of the things I hold dear! And he's making a mockery of it!

Panel 6

Belkar: Look, you said that we were keeping him because it was too hard to lug his corpse around with us.
Belkar: Well, Elan's gotten us a zippy new ride to carry our stuff, so I say we get our Van Helsing on sooner rather than later.

Panel 7

Roy: No. Just... no. He's helping. I'm not even considering it until we have a way of resurrecting him in front of us.
Belkar: Oh yeah? So when his hunger for blood causes him to start chugging crew members like a frat boy on Spring Break, what're you—

Panel 8

Roy: Hey, Durkon! How often do you need to drink blood to stay alive? I mean, uh, not dead?
Durkon: Once each night, ideally. Why?
Roy: Here's what you're going to do:

Panel 9

Roy: Every day when you prepare spells, make sure Restoration is one of your 4th-level spells.
Roy: Once you drain blood from someone, you cast it on them right after. They're back to full strength, you're not hungry anymore—
Roy: —Everybody wins.

Panel 10

Belkar: Yeah? What poor sap are you going to find to get his blood sucked out every night?
Roy: Me. I'll do it. It's the least I can do for a friend in need.
Durkon: Och, Roy, tha means a lot to me. Thanks, lad.
Haley: We'll pitch in too.
Elan: Yeah! We can get stickers saying we donated, and drink orange juice after!

Panel 11

Belkar: You're nuts. You've all gone crazy, and the worst part is, you've turned me into a hipster tool in the process.

Panel 12

Elan: How are you a—

Trivia Edit

  • Abraham Van Helsing is a fictional character and the protagonist of Bram Stoker's 1897 horror classic, Dracula. He has been portrayed in many books, TV shows and films, including the 2004 film Van Helsing, starring Hugh Jackman.

External Links Edit

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