Defense is for Losers
Order of the Stick comic
Comic no. 107
Date published 29 September 2004
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Belkar's miscalculation lands the casters in a heap of trouble.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Belkar: Arrgh! I can't believe this.
Vaarsuvius: Scorching Ray!
Belkar: A room full of people I'm allowed to kill, and I have to stand here and protect the wizard and cleric.

Panel 2

Belkar: It's all your fault. Stupid d4 hit dice.
Vaarsuvius: I'm sorry?
Belkar: You heard me, Ears.

Panel 3

Vaarsuvius: Well, I'm terribly sorry I spent my extensive lifespan unlocking the means to unravel the universe and reshape it according to my will rather than, say, jogging. It has a tendency to leave one relatively fragile.
Belkar: Exactly!

Panel 4

Belkar: If you had gotten more fresh air as a kid, I'd be out there kicking ass right now.
Vaarsuvius: My deepest apologies.

Panel 5

Vaarsuvius: Now if you don't mind, I am somewhat preoccupied telling the laws of physics to shut up and sit down.
Belkar: Fine! I'll just stand over here and protect your sorry elven butt.

Panel 6

Belkar: Pointy-eared, purple-haired, ambiguously-gendered pain in my ass.

Panel 7

Belkar: Aww sweet! Enemy spellcaster over there!
Belkar: I bet I could sneak over there, kill him, and be back before anyone even noticed.

Panel 8

Belkar sneaks past a goblin wearing a green cloak.

Panel 9

Belkar comes up on Ted.
Belkar: I got a riddle for you.
Belkar: What's green and black, squeals like a pig, and has two pieces of steel where its lungs used to be?

Panel 10

Belkar stabs Ted with both daggers. Belkar: You.
Ted: Geeearggh!

Panel 11

Belkar: Piece of cake! But at least it was a little challenging. I mean, it's no fun if there's not at least SOME chance of failure.

Panel 12

Belkar: I mean, what kind of brain-dead moron could screw up protecting the spellcasters?

Panel 13

Panel shows Durkon surrounded by goblins and Vaarsuvius surrounded by ghasts.
Vaarsuvius: I don't suppose you are ghouls? As an elf, I am immune to a ghoul's paralyzing touch.
Ghast: Sorry. Ghasts.
Vaarsuvius: Drat.

D&D Context Edit

  • Scorching Ray is a 2nd-level Wizard spell that deals damage with fiery rays.
  • When characters level up they roll a die each level to determine how much hit points they gain. Wizard characters only get to a 4-sided die, which is the lowest possible.
  • Undead Ghouls have a paralysis attack that Elves are immune to. Ghasts are stronger and have a paralysis that can effect Elves.

Trivia Edit

  • This is the final appearance of Ted. He first appears in #90.

External Links Edit