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Dead Men Tell Tales

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Dead Men Tell Tales
Order of the Stick comic
Comic no. 95
Date published 12 August 2004
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Xykon enlists Redcloak's help to locate an important object.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Redcloak is kneeling, hiding behind a small toy motel with two demon roaches approaching it: "Roach Motel", "Free cable", "Jacuzzi" and "Hourly rates" are written on it.
Redcloak (whispering): Closer...closer...
Demon cockroach #1: I dunno, seems pricey...

Panel 2

Xykon: Redcloak!
Redcloak: AAAAHHHH!
Demon cockroach #1: Aaahh!
Demon cockroach #2: Run!

Panel 3

Xykon: What in the Nine Hells are you doing?
Redcloak: Your Evilness' secret weapon managed to attract even more of the demon-roaches. I was trying to get rid of them.

Panel 4

Xykon: Wow. What a waste of time.
Redcloak: Yeah, pretty much.
Xykon: No, seriously, that's pathetic.
Redcloak: I am well aware, sir.

Panel 5

Xykon: Listen, drop that. I need some of your evil cleric mojo.
Redcloak: Ah, of course, Master. What do you require?
Xykon: I need you to Speak with Dead.

Panel 6

Redcloak: ...
Redcloak: Um, OK, hello, sir, how are you today? This is lovely weather—
Xykon: Not me, you moron!

Panel 7

Xykon reveals a dead goblin.
Xykon: THIS guy.
Redcloak: Gahh!
Xykon: Yeah. I tried to send him through the Gate, and that big rune zapped him. Fifth one this week.

Panel 8

Redcloak: That's... I know that guy, sir.
Xykon: Hmm? Oh. So sorry for your loss, can you cast the damn spell?

Panel 9

Redcloak: Of course, sir. Speak with Dead!
Xykon: Hey! Hey you! Dead goblin! Can you hear me?
Dead goblin: yessssssss....
Dead goblin: you have wrested my ssspirit from itsss rightful have questions?

Panel 10

Xykon: I have only one question for you, and the success of the scheme depends on it. My question is this:
Xykon: Do you know where my keys are?

Panel 11

Dead goblin: Pockettttt....
Xykon looks down at his pocket, producing some warded lock keys.
Xykon: In my—oh! Hey, there they are. Huh.

Panel 12

Xykon: Thanks! The conjuring of his immortal soul saved me the inconvenience of digging out the spare set I keep in my desk.
Redcloak: Sigh. I live to serve.
Two more demon roaches have appeared.
Demon roach #3: Hey babe, a motel!
Demon roach #4: What kind of girl do you think I am?

D&D Context Edit

  • Speak with Dead is a 3rd-level Cleric spell that allows characters to ask questions of the dead.

Trivia Edit

  • The first panel Roach Motel gag is a pun on the popular roach-trap device.

External Links Edit

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