|Order of the Stick comic|
|Date published||17 February 2005|
|View the comic|
Team Evil has two methods of gaining the hobgoblins: the long, honorary method, or the short, brutal method. Points for guessing which method they choose.
- Team Evil
- A Hobgoblin Cleric
- A Hobgoblin Supreme Leader
- Panel 1
Redcloak, sans cloak and in face paint, holds out his arms with weights hung on them.
Hobgoblin Cleric: And lo, let the hobgoblin Ritual of Manhood commence!
Redcloak: Before we get things started, I'd just like to take this opportunity to personally thank my Lord Xykon for giving me this chance to plumb the murky depths of my chosen career.
- Panel 2
Xykon: Quit your complaining. It's not MY fault none of the other goblins are around.
Redcloak: The more open-minded might be inclined to think that since you led them all to their untimely deaths at the hands of a group of adventurers that yes, yes it IS your fault.
- Panel 3
Hobgoblin Cleric: The Ritual of Manhood is then to be followed by the Ritual of Public Spanking.
Redcloak: Remind me why I'm doing this again.
Monster in the Darkness: In order to be a hobgoblin leader, you need to be an official member of the hobgoblin tribe. So you have to go through their stupid rituals to become an honorary hobgoblin.
- Panel 4
Hobgoblin Cleric: And then, the Ritual of Uncomfortable Piercings in Private Places shall begin.
Redcloak: And after that, THEN am I an honorary hobgoblin?
Hobgoblin Cleric: No, not until you complete the Ritual of Doing the First Four Rituals Over Again, Only Slower and While Singing.
- Panel 5
Xykon: Wait, wait, wait.
Xykon: I'm all for humiliating Redcloak, but we're kind of in a time crunch here.
Xykon: Is there any way to fast track the process of becoming your supreme leader?
- Panel 6
Hobgoblin Cleric: Well, you could simply vanquish the current supreme lead—
- Panel 7
Redcloak casts "slay living" on the hobgoblin.
- Panel 8
Another hobogoblin in a headdres with a scepter and an amulet stands to Redcloak's left.
Redcloak: Wow, that was actually quite liberating.
Xykon: Hey, you over there. That guy WAS your supreme leader, right?
- Panel 9
Closeup of the other hobgoblin. Labels point to his accoutrements: "Scepter of Supreme Leadership", "Headdress of Supreme Leadership", and "Shiny Gold Amulet of Supreme Leadership".
- Panel 10
Supreme Leader: Yes.
Supreme Leader: Yes, he was.
D&D Context Edit
- Slay Living is a 5th-level Cleric spell that automatically kills a touched target unless they succeed a Fortitude Save.