|Order of the Stick comic|
|Date published||17 July 2008|
|View the comic|
Grubwiggler re-animates Roy as a bone golem. Celia objects to what he has done to Roy, prompting him to take her prisoner and exact his fee in flesh.
- Roy Greenhilt (as bone golem) ◀ ▶
- Belkar Bitterleaf (sickened) ◀ ▶
- Mr. Scruffy ◀ ▶
- Celia ◀ ▶
- Hieronymus Grubwiggler ◀ ▶
- Giro ◀ ▶
- Green Flesh Golem ▶
- Panel 1
Celia is going over Grubwiggler's contract.
Grubwiggler: Excellent! Tonight's storm is right on schedule. Roker shall see one more sunrise.
Celia: Well, this contract is a little archaic, but it seems pretty standard.
Grubwiggler: Now we need only wait for lightning to strike the—
- Panel 2
Celia casts lightning.
- Panel 3
Celia: I'm kinda in a hurry.
- Panel 4
Grubwiggler: Ah, see? The eleven secret herbs and reagents are already working! The spells have been cast, now we need only wait, and...
Celia: Wait a minute, what exactly is the "product of envivification" and why are there one... two... three pages dealing with it?
- Panel 5
Grubwiggler: It's alive!
- Panel 6
Celia: What the hell did you do to him?? You said no undead!!
Grubwiggler: And indeed, he is not undead—he's a construct, bones animated by an earth elemental spirit bound under my control.
Grubwiggler: Which I guess technically makes my statement of, "It's alive," inaccurate, but I just love saying that.
- Panel 7
Grubwiggler: Once you remit my fee, we'll select a PIN code you can use to command the golem.
Celia: I'm not paying you, you monster! Look what you did to my boyfriend.
Celia: Plus, I didn't sign anything and I never actually agreed to your verbal contract.
- Panel 8
Grubwiggler: Well, in that case, allow me to show you a portfolio of my previous work in the field of golems.
A flesh golem appears stage left.
Grubwiggler: Restrain the sylph!
- Panel 9
Belkar enters the room.
Belkar: Look, Mr. Scruffy, Herman Munster is trying to hurt the Cart Fairy! We better get over there and—
- Panel 10
- Panel 11
He vomits some more.
He produces yet more vomit.
- Panel 12
Grubwiggler: I'm adding my janitorial bill to what you owe me for the golem.
Belkar (off-panel): *BLFRRRG!*
Celia: I'm sorry, I can't hear you due to the overwhelming emotional damages that I'm sure any jury will recognize.
D&D Context Edit
- The monster in the 8th and 12th panels, which resembles the classic Hollywood portrayal of Frankenstein's monster, is a Flesh Golem.
- As a sylph, Celia can cast Lightning Bolt as one of her natural spell-like abilities.
- The spells required to animate Roy as a Bone Golem are ambiguous, as the monster was never published for D&D 3.0 or 3.5. However, based on the 1st and 2nd edition material, it is likely that the spells required are:
- Geas/Quest, a 6th level spell which compels the creature to service.
- Limited Wish, a 7th level spell with flexible effects. In this case it would animate the construct.
- Polymorph Any Object, an 8th level spell which changes the inanimate skeleton into a cohesive structure.
- Other versions of a 3e Bone Golem might include Telekinesis or Animate Dead.
- Al Roker is a TV weatherman best known as the weather anchor on NBC's Today. Apparently Grubwiggler is holding him captive in return for accurate forecasts.
- Grubwiggler's comment of "Its alive...ALIVE!" is an homage to Dr. Frankenstein's famous line from the 1931 Universal Pictures film Frankenstein, as is the lightening bringing a creature "back" to life.
- Grubwiggler's line "The eleven secret herbs and reagents are already working!" is a reference to the eleven herbs and spices that purportedly make the secret recipe of Kentucky Fried Chicken.
- Belkar's comment regarding the Frankenstein's-monster-like golem holding Celia is a tribute to the 1964-66 TV show The Munsters, a show that had a similar appearing character with the name Herman Munster.
- This is the first appearance of the Green Flesh Golem.