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Construction Workers
Order of the Stick comic
OOTS0576
Comic no. 576
Date published 17 July 2008
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Grubwiggler re-animates Roy as a bone golem. Celia objects to what he has done to Roy, prompting him to take her prisoner and exact his fee in flesh.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Celia is going over Grubwiggler's contract.
Grubwiggler: Excellent! Tonight's storm is right on schedule. Roker shall see one more sunrise.
Celia: Well, this contract is a little archaic, but it seems pretty standard.
Grubwiggler: Now we need only wait for lightning to strike the—

Panel 2

Celia casts lightning.

Panel 3

Celia: I'm kinda in a hurry.

Panel 4

Grubwiggler: Ah, see? The eleven secret herbs and reagents are already working! The spells have been cast, now we need only wait, and...
Celia: Wait a minute, what exactly is the "product of envivification" and why are there one... two... three pages dealing with it?

Panel 5

Grubwiggler: It's alive!
Grubwiggler: ALIVE!!!

Panel 6

Celia: What the hell did you do to him?? You said no undead!!
Grubwiggler: And indeed, he is not undead—he's a construct, bones animated by an earth elemental spirit bound under my control.
Grubwiggler: Which I guess technically makes my statement of, "It's alive," inaccurate, but I just love saying that.

Panel 7

Grubwiggler: Once you remit my fee, we'll select a PIN code you can use to command the golem.
Celia: I'm not paying you, you monster! Look what you did to my boyfriend.
Celia: Plus, I didn't sign anything and I never actually agreed to your verbal contract.

Panel 8

Grubwiggler: Well, in that case, allow me to show you a portfolio of my previous work in the field of golems.
A flesh golem appears stage left.
Grubwiggler: Restrain the sylph!
Celia: AAAHHH!

Panel 9

Belkar enters the room.
Belkar: Look, Mr. Scruffy, Herman Munster is trying to hurt the Cart Fairy! We better get over there and—

Panel 10

He vomits.
Belkar: *BLUURRRGGH!*

Panel 11

He vomits some more.
Belkar: *hnnFLUUURGH!*
He produces yet more vomit.
Belkar: *hnnFLUUURGH!*

Panel 12

Grubwiggler: ...
Grubwiggler: I'm adding my janitorial bill to what you owe me for the golem.
Belkar (off-panel): *BLFRRRG!*
Celia: I'm sorry, I can't hear you due to the overwhelming emotional damages that I'm sure any jury will recognize.

D&D Context Edit

  • The monster in the 8th and 12th panels, which resembles the classic Hollywood portrayal of Frankenstein's monster, is a Flesh Golem.
  • As a sylph, Celia can cast Lightning Bolt as one of her natural spell-like abilities.
  • The spells required to animate Roy as a Bone Golem are ambiguous, as the monster was never published for D&D 3.0 or 3.5. However, based on the 1st and 2nd edition material, it is likely that the spells required are:
    • Geas/Quest, a 6th level spell which compels the creature to service.
    • Limited Wish, a 7th level spell with flexible effects. In this case it would animate the construct.
    • Polymorph Any Object, an 8th level spell which changes the inanimate skeleton into a cohesive structure.
    • Other versions of a 3e Bone Golem might include Telekinesis or Animate Dead.

Trivia Edit

  • Al Roker is a TV weatherman best known as the weather anchor on NBC's Today. Apparently Grubwiggler is holding him captive in return for accurate forecasts.
  • Grubwiggler's comment of "Its alive...ALIVE!" is an homage to Dr. Frankenstein's famous line from the 1931 Universal Pictures film Frankenstein, as is the lightening bringing a creature "back" to life.
  • Grubwiggler's line "The eleven secret herbs and reagents are already working!" is a reference to the eleven herbs and spices that purportedly make the secret recipe of Kentucky Fried Chicken.
  • Belkar's comment regarding the Frankenstein's-monster-like golem holding Celia is a tribute to the 1964-66 TV show The Munsters, a show that had a similar appearing character with the name Herman Munster.
  • This is the first appearance of the Green Flesh Golem.

External Links Edit

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