Clerical Temp
Order of the Stick comic
Comic no. 602
Date published 21 October 2008
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Haley enlists the aid of a cleric of Loki. From him they learn that Belkar has activated his Greater Mark of Justice, and he agrees to send a message to Durkon. Meanwhile Old Blind Pete is busy selling them out for a new pair of eyes.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1, Page 1

Celia: I am so BORED!
Haley: Here, braid my hair again. That'll kill twenty minutes.
Belkar: Uhh...I think my small intestines are trying to declare independence...
Celia: I'm starting to think your friend Pete doesn't actually know a cleric.
Haley: No, Pete knows just about everyone, but these things take time. The entire church is in the Guild's pocket, he has to keep things on the Q.T.
Roy: Hello, girls. Since I know you can't see or hear me, I'm here to glare at you sternly in hopes of triggering subliminal feelings of guilt in you.

Panel 2, Page 1

Pete: Knock, knock, ladies! I hope everyone in there is decent!
Celia: No, Pete, we're both completely nude. But come on in.
Pete: ...
Pete: Now that's just mean to an old blind man.

Panel 3, Page 1

Haley: Sorry 'bout that. But for over a week now, you've been telling us that your friend will be here the next day. If you can't get hold of him, we really need to know.
Pete: I just needed to get a few details worked out, is all. And now they have been.

Panel 4, Page 1

Pete: This is the cleric friend I've been telling you about.
Haley: Oh, man, are we glad to meet you! My name is—
Cleric: Please, no names! If they break you, I don't want you to be able to identify me.

Panel 5, Page 1

Haley: If it's all the same, I'd like to cut the small talk and get down to brass tacks. I'd rather my superiors not start to wonder where I am...
Pete: I'll leave y'all to discuss while I visit the Little Rogue's Room.

Panel 6, Page 1

Cleric: Pete said that you needed a Resurrection spell, but you don't have the body now?
Haley: That's about the size of it yeah.
Cleric: Resurrection is above my caster level, but I have a scroll with it...if you can get the corpse back.
Haley: Which leads into our second problem...

Panel 7, Page 1

Haley: Our party ranger has some sort of weird disease, and we need him to help us storm the castle where the body is being held.
Belkar: They're saying "No digestion without representation."
Cleric: I'll take a look.
Cleric: Say "aaaah".

Panel 8, Page 1

Belkar projectile vomits, Haley Evades it by jumping high.
Belkar: AAAAH!
Cleric: Whoa! Oh yeah, I've seen this before.
Cleric: This isn't a disease, it's a curse. Nasty, but nonfatal.

Panel 9, Page 1

Cleric: Good thing you brought him to me, though. See, this is basically a job for Remove Curse, right? But most clerics wouldn't know the "catch".
Cleric: This particular curse requires a specific password to be spoken in order to be dispelled. Now, I've seen a few of these over the years on thieves that have come up from Azure City. It seems the lord down there—

Panel 10, Page 1

Haley: Wait.
Haley: Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Haley: You're telling me this curse is a result of his Mark of Justice being activated?
Cleric: Sure, How could you have missed it? It turns the whole room blue when it goes off.
Belkar: Unnnhhh...

Panel 11, Page 1

Cleric: Anyway, I do have that spell prepared today, so—
Haley: No.
Haley: Leave him the way he is.

Panel 1, Page 2

Haley: If he activated his curse, than he likely killed someone—probably one of the Oracle's helpers.
Haley: I'm not wasting money on a cure for a curse he brought upon himself.
Haley: If it's nonfatal, he can stew for a while. Let Roy sort it out when he gets back.

Panel 2, Page 2

Celia: Did you hear that, Belkar? You're this sick because you hurt someone.
Celia: How does that make you feel?
Belkar: That's not fair...
Belkar: I didn't even get to enjoy it...

Panel 3, Page 2

Haley: We'll find someone else to help us fight those flesh golems.
Belkar: I want a do-over.
Celia: I have never been more in agreement.
Roy: Well, it lacked the "oomph" of the first time around, but sequels often do.

Panel 4, Page 2

Cleric: OK, fine, no Remove Curse. Doesn't bother me either way. What else?
Haley: We need a Sending spell, to contact a dwarf cleric named Durkon Thundershield.
Celia: Ooo! Good idea.

Panel 5, Page 2

Cleric: OK, not a problem, but I need to be familiar with the subject. Does he have any distinguishing features?
Haley: Well, he's short.
Celia: He has a beard.
Haley: He wears heavy armor.

Panel 6, Page 2

Cleric: Ummm, OK... how about any unusual personality traits?
Celia: He has an accent.
Haley: He likes beer.
Haley: He worships Thor.
Celia: And hates trees!

Panel 7, Page 2

Cleric: Can you tell me anything about him that differentiates him from every other dwarf?
Haley: ...
Celia: ...
Roy: *sigh*

Panel 8, Page 2

Cleric: Can one of you draw me a picture of him in chalk?
Celia: Well I'll try, but I suck at drawing faces. I always make both eyes the same size by accident.

Panel 9, Page 2

Cleric: OK, so to hurry this along, here's my charge for the Sending, plus an estimate for the Resurrection.
Haley: Based on this price, it would seem that you have mistakenly identified me as a dragon of some sort.
Cleric: Yeah..the desperate sort.

Panel 10, Page 2

Cleric: Look, I'm happy to help out a friend of Pete's, but you've got to make it worth the huge risk I'm taking.
Cleric: If the Church of Loki or the Thieves' Guild found out I was here right now, aiding an enemy of Bozzok's , they would—

Panel 11, Page 2

Cut to Old Blind Pete at his front door talking to Bozzok, Crystal, and Hank.
Pete: C'mon, Bozzok, we've been haggling all week. I've got Ian's girl, the sylph, and now the traitor priest.
Pete: Do we have a deal or not?
Bozzok: We have a deal. Go over to the temple of Loki, they'll regenerate your eyes for you.
Pete: Hot diggity damn! They're in my basement. See you later!

Panel 12, Page 2

Cleric: —Crap, that was a cutaway panel, wasn't it? I bet that was a cutaway to them talking about how they found me!
Haley: It does seem likely, given the set-up dialogue. Someone hand me my bow.
Cleric: I don't want to die, I've only been in one strip so far!

D&D Context Edit

  • Sending is a 4th level spell and has a 25 word limit, which Haley adheres to.
  • Resurrection is a 7th level spell. It is required because Roy's body is no longer whole, and so the 5th level Raise Dead will not work.

Trivia Edit

  • The title is a pun on clerical workers (clerks) and temps (temporary workers).
  • This is the first appearance of the Cleric of Loki (aka Greysky Priest in the forum list).

External Links Edit

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