|Order of the Stick comic|
|Date published||3 May 2005|
|View the comic|
Vaarsuvius has just been hexed. Some team members take it nicely and respectfully. Others, not so much.
- The Order of the Stick
- Panel 1
Haley: Vaarsuvius! What happened??
Vaarsuvius: Well, either I just decided to spontaneously get in touch with my reptilian side, or I was the target of a Baleful Polymorph.
Belkar: Hey, the hexes are fading.
- Panel 2
Elan: Hey, it's making little lizardy noises.
Vaarsuvius: "Noises"? I am speaking Common, and with more skill than anyone using the word "lizardy".
- Panel 3
Elan: What do you think it's trying to tell us?
Vaarsuvius: I am trying to tell you to improve your vocabulary, you ignorant fool! Have you been struck deaf???
- Panel 4
Roy: All I hear are hisses and clicks.
Haley: Are we sure this is V?
Vaarsuvius: By the ancient elven hosts! They cannot understand my speech! Not even the feeble rudimentary level of understanding I would expect from the halfling.
- Panel 5
Vaarsuvius: Clearly, while I was able to retain my mental faculties, the vocal cords of my new form are incapable of making proper speech. This leaves me unable to communicate verbaly at all.
- Panel 6
Vaarsuvius: However, a quick spell should disperse any doubts as to my identity!
Vaarsuvius: Magic Missile!
- Panel 7
- Panel 8
Roy (off-panel): What's it doing?
Haley (off-panel): I don't know, but it's so cute!
Vaarsuvius: Curses and blasphemies! My lizard claws are incapable of performing the delicate hand positions required for spellcasting, and my voice cannot speak the words of power!
- Panel 9
Roy: We'll need to take it with us. If it IS Vaarsuvius, we'll need to cancel the magic ASAP.
Durkon: Aye, and I did na ask Thor fer Dispel Magic today.
- Panel 10
Roy: Well, if you can understand us, V, we're going to march for a bit, then make camp. Durkon will try to dispel the magic then, OK?
Vaarsuvius: Fine! The sooner I can be free of this accursed... curse... the better off I will be.
- Panel 11
Belkar picks Vaarsuvius up by the tail.
Vaarsuvius: What the—unhand me!
- Panel 12
Belkar: You know, if I knew more about reptilian reproductive anatomy, I'm sure this would answer a lot of questions.
Vaarsuvius: My vengeance shall be prolonged, diminutive cretin.
D&D Context Edit
- Baleful Polymorph is a spell that transforms a character into a small animal.
- In the first panel, Belkar is likely referring to the fact that grid maps are only pulled out for combat encounters.
- Magic Missile is a 1st-level Wizard spell that deals damage.
- In the second panel V refers to the "Common Tongue", the basic language of the D&D world.
- Dispel Magic is a 3rd-level Cleric spell that can remove magical effects.
- The title refers to the David Bowie song Changes from his 1971 album Hunky Dory.
- This is probably the first time a character directly explores the issue of Vaarsuvius' gender (unless you count Bathroom Humor, in which V enters neither the male nor female washroom on account of a "far more efficient" metabolism).