At Least There Weren't Any Cryptograms
Order of the Stick comic
Comic no. 621
Date published 9 January 2009
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Haley learns the details of the plan that Celia and Hank worked out.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Outside the Greysky City Thieves' Guild. A sign reads, "THIEVES' GUILD SEC Approved".
Haley: This is so weird.
Celia: How so?

Panel 2

Inside the Guildhouse. Crystal is brought in on a stretcher.
Haley: "How so"?? An hour ago, I was killing these people left, right, and center. Now, I'm moving back into my old room at their guildhouse.
Celia: That's the power of a peaceful solution!
Celia: Plus, Pete's house is still full of corpses, so we need to sleep somewhere.
Crystal: I don't care if you're back in the Guild, I'll get you for this someday, Starshine!
Crystal: You and you little ranger, too!

Panel 3

Haley: Yeah, uh, I hate to break this to you, but your "peaceful solution" only worked because Belkar and I ladled the violence on first.
Celia: Maybe, maybe not. I'm sure there could have been a compromise even from the start if a more skilled negotiator than myself had been present.

Panel 4

Celia: As it was, I did the best I could, given the circumstances. I only wish so many hadn't needed to suffer.
Hank: Don't worry, Celia, I have no intention of going back on my part of the deal.

Panel 5

Hank: Celia stipulated as part of the truce that we get the Church of Loki to raise from the dead every Guild thief that you guys killed back there.
Celia: And Roy, too, obviously, once we get his body back.
Hank: Right. All for the cost of the diamonds needed for the spells.

Panel 6

Haley: Wow, even at cost, that's going to get expensive!
Hank: I'm not worried, given our recent financial windfall. If you know what I'm saying.
Haley: What, Old Blind Pete's stuff? Won't you lose that if you raise him?

Panel 7

Hank: Oh, I got Pete specifically excluded. We need someone to pin today's whole mess on publicly, and he makes a better scapegoat than most.
Hank: Within 24 hours, the word on the street will be that Pete crossed the Guild again, and we took him down the hard way.
Hank: No one likes a backstabber. I mean, figurative backstabbers, not literal ones like you or me.

Panel 8

Hank: Besides, this recently-acquired estate was not the windfall to which I was referring.
Haley: Well, either way, I'm keeping this bow.
Hank: Fine by me, but we're going to need the rest of it as soon as possible.

Panel 9

Haley: The rest of what?
Haley: What is he talking about?
Celia: Oh, uh, right... Well, it turns out there were a few... uh... bookkeeping corrections... that needed to be straightened out in order for you to be put back on the Guild rolls.
Haley: Such as?

Panel 10

Celia: Well... you now retroactively owe them 50% of everything you've ever stolen since you first left the Thieves' Guild.
Haley: WHAT?!?
Celia: It was necessary to make things look realistic, and we don't need money to save Roy now!

Panel 11

Haley: Do you have any idea how much—You ditz! Do you even know what you've done?!?
Celia: If I had to guess, I'd say that I betrayed your principles all over the friggin' place.

D&D Context Edit

  • The 5th level Raise Dead spell has as its material component diamonds of at least 5,000 gp (gold piece) value which are consumed in the spell. Anyone who's body is not intact might require a more powerful spell to be returned to life.

Trivia Edit

  • "...and your little ranger, too" is a reference to the Wicked Witch of the West from the 1939 film The Wizard of Oz, who says, "I'll get you, my pretty – and your little dog, too!"
  • Celia's last line is an Ironic Echo of Haley's line from #615, It's a Real Life-Saver (panel 4).
  • The title refers to the last time Haley lost her fortune, in #245. Haley was so traumatized by the loss of her treasure that she was unable to speak except in cryptograms from then until #393.

External Links Edit

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