An Opponent or Rival Whom a Person Cannot Overcome
Order of the Stick comic
Comic no. 616
Date published 13 December 2008
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Belkar disables Crystal but doesn't kill-steal.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Crystal: Come on, halfling, stand still so I can beat you already! I want to go fight Haley again!
Belkar: Oh, you poor dumb pickle-woman. The only thing that was making this even sporting was your big green buddy. And he left you hanging, didn't he?

Panel 2

Crystal: Arrgh!! You little twit, I'm gonna kill you!
Belkar full attacks Crystal, "slash! slash! slash! slash! slash! slash!"
Belkar: Yeah, and I'm gonna drop a house on you and sing about how I represent the Lollipop Guild. C'mon, let's keep our threats realistic shall we?

Panel 3

Belkar trips Crystal, "trip!"
Belkar: I mean, if you said, "You little twit", I'm going to temporarily inconvenience you!" I'd think, hey, she might really mean it!
Belkar: But seriously, you'? Kill me?

Panel 4

Belkar: Never going to happen.

Panel 5

Belkar stabs Crystal, "SHCHLURK!"
Crystal: AAAAHHH!

Panel 6

Crystal: ...
Crystal: I'm still alive??
Belkar: Yeah, At 0 hit points. Sneeze too hard, and you'll burst an artery. I'm not kill-stealing today.
Crystal: Huh??

Panel 7

Belkar: Ten minutes ago, I would've happily ganked someone else's personal nemesis without thinking twice. It would have been a hilarious anticlimax—plus, you know, murder. Which is always a nice perk.
Belkar: But I'm doing this whole "team player" thing, and that means not fulfilling someone else's narrative role.

Panel 8

Belkar: In other words, it's Haley's job to kill you, not mine.
Crystal: Oh yeah? Well...what if Haley CAN'T kill me? What then, pipsqueak?
Belkar: That's not really my problem, now, is it? I got my brownie points for saving her once already.

Panel 9

Belkar: The fact is, you're not actually important enough for me to risk rocking my new boat.
Belkar: You only matter as Haley's arch-nemesis—and frankly, she already has one of those, and she's a LOT hotter than you are.
Belkar: So, see you around, I guess.
Belkar turns to leave.

Panel 10

Belkar exits stage left.
Crystal: Hey! HEY! I am important! And hot!
Crystal: Get back here and kill me, you coward!
Belkar: Nah, I'm gonna go find my cat.

Panel 11

Crystal: Well FINE! I don't need you to kill me! I know lots of people waiting to kill me!
Crystal: Maybe I'll call one of them!
Belkar (off-panel): You do that.
Crystal: I will!

Panel 12


Panel 13

Crystal: And what the hell does "nemesis" mean, anyway??

D&D Context Edit

  • Belkar uses a Full Attack action to get all of his two weapon attacks.
  • Once Crystal is reduced to 0 hit points, she is Disabled. As such she is still conscious, but if she took a move action she would further injure herself and render herself unconscious (and dying).
  • Kill stealing is the practice of taking credit for killing an enemy when another person put in more effort for the kill.

Trivia Edit

  • The comic's title is the answer to Crystal's question in the last panel.
  • Belkar refers to The Wizard of Oz in the 2nd panel, specifically the Munchkins. Ironically, Belkar is somewhat of a Munchkin in the role-playing sense of the term.
  • Belkar turned over a new leaf of sorts in #606, which is why he chooses not to kill Crystal.
  • The other nemesis Belkar refers to in Panel 9 is most likely Sabine, though Tsukiko is also a possibility.

External Links Edit

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