|“Allies Like This”|
|Order of the Stick comic|
|Date published||28 February 2013|
|View the comic|
The battle between Durkon and Malack continues. Malack is forced to withdraw using his gaseous form after absorbing a Heal spell. Durkon uses the respite to Remove Paralysis on Belkar, only to find Belkar has been Dominated by Malack's Vampire Gaze. He spends more precious spell slots re-establishing the paralysis and healing himself.
- Belkar Bitterleaf (also charmed) ◀ ▶
- Durkon Thundershield ◀ ▶
- Mr. Scruffy ◀ ▶
- Malack (dominating, gaseous, and as vampire) ◀ ▶
- Thor ◀ ▶
- Hel ◀ ▶
- A Dwarf's Soul
- Panel 1
Durkon: Surrender, Malack.
Malack: So you can destroy me?
Durkon: So I can Resurrect ye. I'm sure tha livin' Malack would—
- Panel 2
Malack takes gaseous form.
Malack: I had a different name when I was alive—200 years ago.
Malack: I was the ignorant barbarian shaman of a tribe that no longer exists.
- Panel 3
Malack: Bringing me back to life is just a complicated way of annihilating the person I am today.
Malack: Save your diamond dust and stake me instead.
- Panel 4
Durkon: If'n ye get back here, I can arrange tha fer ye!
Durkon: Malack? Crud.
- Panel 5
Durkon runs to Belkar
Durkkon E's either gone ta heal his wounds, or ta fetch tha rest o' the Guild.
Durkon: We gotta get back ta Roy either way.
- Panel 6
Durkon casts on Belkar while Malack can be seen hanging from the ceiling in the shadows down a corridor.
Durkon: Remove Paralysis.
- Panel 7
Belkars eyes are red spirals. He stabs Durkon with both his daggers, "SHTHUNK! SHTHUNK!"
- Panel 8
Durkon: Hold Person!!
Belkar is once again paralyzed.
- Panel 9
Malack: You don't spend time with a general of Tarquin's calibre without learning a few things about attrition.
Durkon (off-panel): Cure Critical Wounds.
Malack: Your three spells spent to my vampiric gaze—
Malack: —which is unlimited, even if it only works on the weak-willed.
- Panel 10
Durkon: Weak-willed…Och, tha describes half tha party.
Durkon: I dinnae suppose ye can fetch just Roy fer me, kitty?
Mr. Scruffy: Meow?
- Panel 11
Durkon: Nay…I cannae risk any o'em gettin' dominated or vamped.
Durkon: Cure Moderate Wounds.
Durkon: Thor, if'n ye have any ideas on how ta beat this vampire by meself witout losin' any o' me friends, I'm listenin'.
- Panel 12
Cut away to Hell, where Hel and Thor argue over the fate of a dwarf in the afterlife.
Hel: Infection! She's mine!
Thor: From a splinter that she got bravely fighting an elm!
Hel: Trees are inanimate plants, you buffoon!
Thor: Bravery knows no limits!!
D&D Context Edit
- Transforming into gaseous form is a special ability of vampires.
- Diamond dust is a material component of the Resurrection spell.
- Remove Paralysis is a 2nd level spell that works as advertised.
- Hold Person is a 2nd level spell that paralyzes its target for up to 1 round/level.
- Cure Critical Wounds is a 4th level spell that heals 4d8+1/level hp.
- Harm does 10 points/level (120 hp for Malack) damage, or for undead like malack, heals them the same amount.
- Cure Moderate Wounds is 2nd level and heals 2d8+1hp/level.
- Thor and Hel arguing over whether a dwarf died with honor or not (and thus ends up in Valhalla or Hell) is a running gag from #737, as well as the running gag about Thor not hearing Durkon, and the running gag about dwarves being afraid of trees.