Elan and Tarquin have a dramatic pun-duel on the roof of the grandstands.
Cast
Transcript
- Panel 1
Elan charges, Tarquin evades, "woosh!"
Tarquin: However isn't this just a little... premature?
Elan: I've been called that lots of times, but it doesn't stop me from doing what's right.
Elan: And the word is "immature", Dad. Immature.
- Panel 2
Tarquin: Come now, Elan. Must we resort to crude physical force?
Elan: No, you can surrender!
- Panel 3
Elan misses Tarquin, "swinganamiss!"
Tarquin: Surrender to whom? Elan, this is my country.
Elan: You can surrender to me! And then we'll go talk to Haley and figure out what to do next.
- Panel 4
Tarquin effortlessly evades Elans attacks
Tarquin: This is futile, Elan. As a bard, you clearly don't have any combat skills worth mentioning.
Elan: Maybe, but I can still make—
- Panel 5
Elan jumps toward Tarquin
Elan: —an off-Spring Attack!
Tarquin: Very well, I suppose I gave you the prerequisite for that...
- Panel 6
Tarquin draws a dagger and parries, "klink!
Elan: *gasp!*
Tarquin: ...since my seed clearly had adequate Mobility.
- Panel 7
Elan presses the attack and Tarquin parries, "klink! klink! klink!"
Tarquin: Son, I'm glad we got this chance to clear the heir.
Elan: Then you got the thrust of my objection?
Tarquin: A-parent-ly.
Elan: Well, my meaning was clear-cut.
- Panel 8
Elan stands on the balustrade and attacks, with Tarquin parrying "klink! klink! klink! klink!"
Tarquin: Are you enjoying the parade?
Elan: I'm on the fence.
Tarquin: I think it's been a rousing successor.
Elan: Then you'll have to thank the Grand Martial.
- Panel 9
Fight in profile. In the background are 12 of the 30 slaves set on fire for the "Elan" sign.
Tarquin: Looks like I've procreated quite a stir.
Elan: Don't worry, we'll finish this riposte-haste.
Tarquin: Are you sure? Swordfighting can be a precise scion-ce.
Elan: Perhaps, but I've gotten quite smashing at it.
- Panel 10
The fight is getting frenetic, Tarquin still parries all of Elan's attacks, "klink! klink! klink! klink! klink! klink! klink! klink! klink! klink!"
Elan: I'll make you épée for your crimes!
Tarquin: I take issue with your tone.
Elan: —and I'll foil your evil plans!
Tarquin: Then I wonder what I've begotten myself into.
- Panel 11
They pause.
Tarquin: Also, "foil" is less of a pun than it is a word derivation. We say someone "foiled" a plan because they defeated them—as with a foil.
Elan: Really?
- Panel 12
Tarquin disarms Elan, "kaTANG!"
Tarquin: No.
Tarquin: The etymologies are unrelated.
D&D Context
- Spring Attack is a Feat which allows the character to move both before and after an attack. The prerequisites are a 13 Dexterity score, the Dodge Feat and, as Tarquin quips, the Mobility Feat.
- Tarquin's ability to counter Elan's puns nullifies his Dashing Swordsman class feature which allows him to use his Charisma to modify attack rolls when making a witty quip.
- Tarquin was able to disarm Elan despite using a smaller weapon, which incurs a -4 penalty.
Trivia
- The etymologies are indeed unrelated:
- Foil, the type of fencing sword, comes from the Old French fueille, which means the leaf of a plant, because the blade is very thin.
- Foil, to prevent someone from accomplishing something, comes from Middle English foilen (“spoil a scent trail by crossing it”), from Old French fouler (“tread on, trample”), ultimately from Latin fullo (“clothes cleaner, fuller”).