Actually, That's Probably You
Order of the Stick comic
Comic no. 687
Date published 24 October 2009
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The party are given gifts in appreciation for saving the drovers from the slavers.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Roy stands with a family of camel drovers next to what appears to be a gas station. A dromedary drinks from one of the pumps. The sign reads, "OASIS Regular 3.489 Premium 5.489 Supreme 7.489"
Camel Drover Father: Those slavers have been attacking caravans for months now. Thank you, Mr. Greenhilt.
Roy: I'm just sorry some of them got away. We'll need to split off from you in the morning.
Camel Drover Father: Thanks to you and your friends, they won't have the numbers to mount an attack like this for a long time.

Panel 2

Camel Drover Wife: Most importantly, you single-handedly rescued my son from a life of slavery.
Camel Drover Father: For that, my family would like to bestow on you this magical belt.
Roy: Normally, I would say that you didn't need to do that, but we're sort of on an "every possible advantage needed" type of quest.
Roy: So I'll just say, "Thank you."

Panel 3

Camel Drover Wife: It should increase your strength to that of a giant.
Camel Drover Father: We mostly use it to help us load and unload the camels.
Roy: Oooooooo.
Roy: Are we taling a +4 sort of giant or a +6 sort of giant?
Belkar: No one ever hands me a major magic item, you know.
Durkon: Tha's 'cause yer a horrible lil miscreant.
Belkar: Yeah, but I'm pretending not to be.
Belkar: Trying! Trying not to be.

Panel 4

Durkon: Well, ye pulled yer weight an' killed tha leader, so I guess tha's at least worth a healin' spell. Cure Light Wounds!
Belkar: Thank you for generously healing the sunburn I only had because of you.
Camel Drover Elder: Excuse me... my wife sent me over here to give you this.

Panel 5

Belkar: What the hell? Is it some kind of trap.
Camel Drover Elder: No, no! It's just a token of our—

Panel 6

Belkar: Oh, so it's a tribute payment. Hand it over.
Camel Drover Elder: A what?
Belkar: You know, you pay me in the hopes that I don't kill you. It's a good start, but I can't make any promises.
Roy (off-panel): BELKAR!

Panel 7

Roy: Belkar, the box is a GIFT. You saved this man's life—however incidental it may have been to your own violent rampage—and he's thanking you with a gift.
Roy: The proper response is to accept it graciously.

Panel 8

Belkar: So, I did exactly what I always do—murder people horribly—but because I killed the people everyone else wanted me to kill, I get presents instead of prison time?
Roy: Uh, well, it's a lot more complicated than that, but—

Panel 9

Belkar: HA HA HA HA HA HA!
Belkar: It's working! IT'S WORKING, SUCKERS!!

Panel 10

Bearded Guy: Is that... normal?
Roy: Not so much "normal" as "par for the course".
Belkar: Hey, who's the least popular person here? Turns out it's OK for me to kill them if everyone agrees on it!

D&D Context Edit

  • The Belt of Giant Strength is a magic item which increases the wearers Strength ability score from +4 to +6 (as Roy notes). The Belt was originally published as the Girdle of Giant Strength in the 1979 AD&D (1st Edition) Dungeon Master's Guide. That version of the item gave the wearer a high fixed strength equivalent to various types of giants, rather than a bonus to the wearer's inherent strength.
  • Cure Light Wounds is a 1st level spell which heals 1d8 points of damage +1 point of damage per level.

Trivia Edit

  • The title answers the question Belkar poses in the final panel.
  • This is the final appearance of the Camel Drover Father, first appearing in #683, the Camel Drover Elder, first appearing in #685, and the Camel Drover's Son, first appearing in #686.

External Links Edit

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