|“A Wizard Did It”|
|Order of the Stick comic|
|Date published||4 April 2009|
|View the comic|
Vaarsuvius wishes to display the power of the soul splice to the rest of the party and effortlessly gives the Azurites a new home. Kazumi makes determining Haley's locations unnecessary.
- Vaarsuvius (Soul Spliced) ◀ ▶
- Daigo Da- ◀ ▶
- Kazumi Kato (pregnant) ◀ ▶
- Ganonron ◀ ▶
- Jephton the Unholy ◀ ▶
- Panel 1, Page 1
The Azurite fleet rests off the coast of another small island in the Ocean.
Daigo: Honey! I'm home!
- Panel 2, Page 1
In Daigo and Kazumi's cabin.
Kazumi: Hey there, brave explorer. How goes the brave exploring today?
Daigo: Eh, pretty crappy. I mean, the island wasn't full of rampaging orcs or anything.
Daigo: That sort of thing only seemed to happen when Elan was with us.
- Panel 3, Page 1
Daigo: But it was pretty tiny. We definitely couldn't settle all of the refugees on—
- Panel 4, Page 1
Vaarsuvius teleports in, "POP!"
Kazumi: Holy $#!&!
Spliced souls: We arrive.
Spliced souls: We are here.
- Panel 5, Page 1
Vaarsuvius: Where is Durkon? His cabin is empty.
Daigo: Vaarsuvius? Is that you??
Vaarsuvius: Of course. Why does everyone keep asking that?
- Panel 6, Page 1
Daigo: Uh, well, you changed your hair. And your teeth.
Kazumi: And your speech balloons.
Vaarsuvius: Bah! Physical appearances matter little to me. Now answer the question: Where is Durkon? And the bard, for that matter?
Spliced soul: Don't worry about it.
Spliced soul: We think you look good in black.
- Panel 7, Page 1
Kazumi: They're not here.
Daigo: We were just discussing our search for a place to settle while we—
Vaarsuvius: No! No, I shall not tolerate one more insipid conversation about your petty tactical necessities.
Spliced soul: Silence the banality!
Spliced soul: Stop the madness!
- Panel 8, Page 1
Vaarsuvius: This ends now.
Daigo: No! Stay back!
Jephton: Do it.
Ganonron: I have just the spell.
- Panel 9, Page 1
Ganonron's soul becomes distinct behind Vaarsuvius.
Vaarsuvius: Epic Teleport!
Ganonron: Epic Teleport!
- Panel 10, Page 1
The entire fleet disappears from the sea near the small island, "pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop!"
- Panel 1, Page 2
The fleet appears off the coast of a land with a wooded mountain and a white castle, "pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop!"
Daigo: What the hell? Did you just move the entire fleet? Where are we?
Vaarsuvius: At a large island a few dozen kilometers from the Western Continent.
- Panel 2, Page 2
Back in Kazumi and Daigo's cabin.
Vaarsuvius: You will find an abundance of edible vegetation and several unoccupied fortifications.
Vaarsuvius: This was the site of an elven settlement for many centuries before budget cuts forced my people to withdraw from it.
Vaarsuvius: My parents took me camping here once. I loathed it.
- Panel 3, Page 2
Vaarsuvius: I imagine that a few monsters have moved in by now, but nothing a few low-level peons such as yourself could not handle.
Daigo: Vaarsuvius, I don't—I don't know what to say!
- Panel 4, Page 2
Vaarsuvius: Then say nothing, simpleton!
Vaarsuvius: I only brought you here so that you would have no possible reason to speak of this subject near me EVER AGAIN!!
Spliced soul: Zip it!
Spliced soul: Speak, and be silenced.
- Panel 5, Page 2
Vaarsuvius: Now, if Durkon and Elan are not here, then tell me where they are.
Kazumi: We don't know, exactly.
Daigo: We haven't seen them in days.
- Panel 6, Page 2
Vaarsuvius: I had hoped they would bear witness to the final triumph of arcane power over our long-standing conundrum, as they had so often scoffed.
Vaarsuvius: But I can wait no longer.
Spliced soul: So much to kill.
Spliced soul: So little time.
- Panel 7, Page 2
Vaarsuvius: The time has at last come to peel back the shroud that has obscured my mystic vision for so long.
Spliced soul: Take what you need.
Vaarsuvius: With the unrivaled power that I now possess, no secret shall remain hidden!
- Panel 8, Page 2
Vaarsuvius: For now, it is MY hand that will shatter the barrier that has prevented me from locating Haley Starshine, for I shall wrest the knowledge from the—
- Panel 9, Page 2
Kazumi: She's in Greysky City.
- Panel 10, Page 2
Vaarsuvius: Did you.
Kazumi: She called Durkon with a Sending spell, like days ago.
Daigo: That's why they left the fleet.
- Panel 11, Page 2
Daigo: He got a second Sending right before he left, saying that she was staying at the Thieves' Guild.
- Panel 12, Page 2
Kazumi: Ooo! I wrote down the address!
Kazumi: Here we go: 247 Back Alley Road, third floor, second door on the—
Vaarsuvius: SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!!!
Spliced souls: KILL! KILL!
D&D Context Edit
- Epic Teleport is an Epic Spell, one that can only be cast by a character level 21+. The other epic-level spells used in the comics are Cloister, and Familicide.
- "A Wizard Did It", says tvtropes, is the standard all-encompassing explanation for any continuity errors noticed by hardcore fans of any given fantasy show.