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A Walk in the Park

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A Walk in the Park
Order of the Stick comic
Comic no. 344
Date published 05 September 2006
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Vaarsuvius and Durkon banter on the finer points of Cliffport's curious combination of magic and technology before being approached by the evil arch-druid, Leeky Windstaff.


Vaarsuvius, Durkon. Leeky Windstaff, Awakened Tree. Commoners.


Panel 1

Vaarsuvius: No, I understand, I'm simply saying that the architectural motifs found here in the city of Cliffport are inconsistent with the presumed medieval time period.
Durkon: It be magic.

Panel 2

Vaarsuvius: Yes, fine, I grasp the premise that any sufficiently advanced—and in particular, reliable—magic would be indistinguishable from technology, I merely find the implementation here haphazard at best.
Durkon: Meh. It could be worse, ye know.

Panel 3

Vaarsuvius: Oh?
Durkon: They could have magic trains.
Vaarsuvius: Point taken.

Panel 4

A loud CRACK! is resounds nearby.
Durkon: Did ye hear that? Sounds like trouble in tha warehouse!
Vaarsuvius: Now wait, do not jump to conclusions regarding the meaning of any—

Panel 5

Another CRAACK! is heard.
Durkon: Thor's another 'un! Roy's in trouble! We're comin', lad!!
Vaarsuvius: Wait! We cannot hope to provide effective countermeasures without more information.
Vaarsuvius grips at Durkon, who is trying to valiantly march away after Roy.
Durkon: Leggo!

Panel 6

Durkon falters, disgruntled, reflecting on Vaarsuvius' words.
Vaarsuvius: We shall be little help to Sir Greenhilt if we go barreling in and fall prey to the same exact trap.
Durkon: But tha lad needs us! We gotta—

Panel 7

Durkon (under his breath): Well THAT cannae be a good thing.

Panel 8

Leeky (unnamed): Gaze in fear as the trees of your much-vaunted "municipal park" angrily awaken to wreak bloody vengeance on you for incarcerating them in a well-mowed prison!
Leeky (unnamed): The once and future masters of this land walk among you now! Let those who led their dogs to urinate upon them now flee in mortal terror!
Leeky's namesake staff glows, and several awakened trees are seen harassing the park dwellers; they flee in terror as the druid delivers holy deliverance from their evil dog-wetting ways.

Panel 9

Leeky: Crush them, my leafy comrades! Tear down this concrete abomination once and for all!
Leeky: So commands Leeky Windstaff, evil gnome druid! Bwahahaha!

Panel 10

Vaarsuvius: Fascinating. Durkon, I have just formulated a theory that encompasses both Nale's likely method of engagement and the most suitable response on our part.

Panel 11

Vaarsuvius: Ah, I see you have already grasped the core principles of my theory.
Durkon panics, serving as foil to the stoicly observing Vaarsuvius.


  • The title of the strip references the common idiom "A walk in the park" to mean something easy and peaceful.
  • This is the first appearance of Leeky Windstaff.
  • In panel two Vaarsuvius is satirizing Arthur Clarke's Third Law, "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." It is, furthermore, a reference to the converse of this third law, "Any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from technology."
  • The conversation between Vaarsuvius and Durkon may be in reference to the tropes Schizotech, in general, and more specifically (panel three) Magitek.
  • Durkon's suggestion of "Magic Trains" is a jab at the Eberron campaign settings, which features these.
  • In regards to panel eight: urine is high in nitrogen, one of three key macronutrients, and further contains phosphate and potassium. That a druid would not be aware of this shows either hypocrisy or vanity on his part—resource reallocation is a critical component in real-world ecologies. Further reading, from Wikipedia.

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