|“A Special Pre-Approved Offer”|
|Order of the Stick comic|
|Date published||26 February 2007|
|View the comic|
Azure City prison brings all walks of life together
- Belkar Bitterleaf ◀ ▶
- The Linear Guild
- Miko Miyazaki ◀ ▶
- Grand Larceny Prisoner ▶
- Panel 1
The Azure City prison. Belkar throws a rock at Miko, "bonk!"
Belkar: Rise and shine, honey! You don't want to be late for your first day as an imprisoned criminal.
Miko: Whuh... where am I?
Belkar: You're in jail.
- Panel 2
Miko (off-panel): What?
Beklar: You know, the slammer, the pokey, the big house, the hoosegow, the clink. You're in a dungeon, and not the kind with inexplicably placed monsters and enormous piles of treasure.
- Panel 3
Belkar: Ladies and gentlemen of maximum security, may I present paladin-turned-murderer Miko Miyazaki.
Belkar: Miko just committed her very first evil act, so let's all give her a round of applause.
- Panel 4
Off-panel applause, "clap! clap! clap! clap! clap! clap!"
Off-panel speaker #1: Woooo!
Off-panel speaker #2: Good job!
Miko: I'm going to kill you halfling.
Belkar: And she's already working on her second, what a go-getter!
- Panel 5
Sabine: Oooo! You're a fallen paladin?
Beklar (off-panel): Are you kidding? She fell so hard, I think she left cracks in the floor.
- Panel 6
Sabine: Hey, so you know the Lower Planes are always looking for ex-paladins to become Blackguards, right?
Miko: Leave me be, fiend.
Sabine: Come on, it's not like those paladin levels are doing much for you now. Plus, for a limited time, we're offering 5000 gp cash back on qualified level trade-ins.
- Panel 7
Nale: Sabine, baby, not that I don't like to watch you work, but what exactly are you doing?
Nale: I'm not really seeing her as Linear Guild material.
- Panel 8
Sabine: If I turn a paladin into a Blackguard, I win a free weekend getaway at a great resort in the Astral Plane.
Sabine: All expenses paid, and seriously, baby, you should see the pools in this place.
- Panel 9
Sabine: Besides, Nale, look at that body! Mmmmm! You can't tell me she wouldn't look sexy in black leather.
Miko: Excuse me?
- Panel 10
Sabine: Well, I mean, there's friendly contact with an evil outsider...
Sabine (winking): And then there's "friendly contact" with an evil outsider. Know what I mean?
- Panel 11
Miko: Come here.
Sabine: Aww, see? I knew she'd be—
- Panel 12
Miko reaches through the bars and wrenches Sabine's neck with a loud "SNAP!"
- Panel 13
Sabine falls to the floor, "wumph!" as Miko turns away.
- Panel 14
Sabine's head is on backwards.
Sabine: Fine, be that way.
Sabine: But if you decide to sell your soul later, I can't guarantee that I'll pay full market value.
Miko: Duly noted.
Miko begins to pray.
D&D Context Edit
- Blackguard is a prestige class in D&D 3rd Edition and 3.5 Edition. Becoming a blackguard requires that the character have made "friendly contact with an evil outsider" according to the Dungeon Master's Guide.
- Blackguards with previous levels as a paladin (fallen paladins) have additional abilities.
- The Astral Plane connects the Outer Planes with the Prime Material Plane (earth).
- This is the first appearance of the Grand Larceny Prisoner, though he says nothing.