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Comic no. 419
Date published 26 February 2007
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"It's a Type of Boat" "The Trial of Belkar Bitterleaf (Abridged)"
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Azure City prison brings all walks of life together

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

The Azure City prison. Belkar throws a rock at Miko, "bonk!"
Belkar: Rise and shine, honey! You don't want to be late for your first day as an imprisoned criminal.
Miko: Whuh... where am I?
Belkar: You're in jail.

Panel 2

Miko (off-panel): What?
Beklar: You know, the slammer, the pokey, the big house, the hoosegow, the clink. You're in a dungeon, and not the kind with inexplicably placed monsters and enormous piles of treasure.

Panel 3

Belkar: Ladies and gentlemen of maximum security, may I present paladin-turned-murderer Miko Miyazaki.
Belkar: Miko just committed her very first evil act, so let's all give her a round of applause.

Panel 4

Off-panel applause, "clap! clap! clap! clap! clap! clap!"
Off-panel speaker #1: Woooo!
Off-panel speaker #2: Good job!
Miko: I'm going to kill you halfling.
Belkar: And she's already working on her second, what a go-getter!

Panel 5

Sabine: Oooo! You're a fallen paladin?
Miko: No.
Beklar (off-panel): Are you kidding? She fell so hard, I think she left cracks in the floor.

Panel 6

Sabine: Hey, so you know the Lower Planes are always looking for ex-paladins to become Blackguards, right?
Miko: Leave me be, fiend.
Sabine: Come on, it's not like those paladin levels are doing much for you now. Plus, for a limited time, we're offering 5000 gp cash back on qualified level trade-ins.

Panel 7

Nale: Sabine, baby, not that I don't like to watch you work, but what exactly are you doing?
Nale: I'm not really seeing her as Linear Guild material.

Panel 8

Sabine: If I turn a paladin into a Blackguard, I win a free weekend getaway at a great resort in the Astral Plane.
Sabine: All expenses paid, and seriously, baby, you should see the pools in this place.

Panel 9

Sabine: Besides, Nale, look at that body! Mmmmm! You can't tell me she wouldn't look sexy in black leather.
Miko: Excuse me?

Panel 10

Sabine: Well, I mean, there's friendly contact with an evil outsider...
Sabine (winking): And then there's "friendly contact" with an evil outsider. Know what I mean?

Panel 11

Miko: Come here.
Sabine: Aww, see? I knew she'd be—

Panel 12

Miko reaches through the bars and wrenches Sabine's neck with a loud "SNAP!"

Panel 13

Sabine falls to the floor, "wumph!" as Miko turns away.

Panel 14

Sabine's head is on backwards.
Sabine: Fine, be that way.
Sabine: But if you decide to sell your soul later, I can't guarantee that I'll pay full market value.
Miko: Duly noted.
Miko begins to pray.

D&D Context Edit

  • Blackguard is a prestige class in D&D 3rd Edition and 3.5 Edition. Becoming a blackguard requires that the character have made "friendly contact with an evil outsider" according to the Dungeon Master's Guide.
  • Blackguards with previous levels as a paladin (fallen paladins) have additional abilities.
  • The Astral Plane connects the Outer Planes with the Prime Material Plane (earth).

Trivia Edit

  • This is the first appearance of the Grand Larceny Prisoner, though he says nothing.

External Links Edit

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