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A Leper Can't Change His Spots
Order of the Stick comic
OOTS0304
Comic no. 304
Date published 12 April 2006
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Belkar runs into some trouble trying to pass himself off as a medium sized creature.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Belkar: Just fantastic!
Belkar: This entire uptight city is partying, and I'm stuck with this stupid "Mark of Justice".

Panel 2

Belkar: I've been to every two-bit wizard in this cesspool of virtue and not one of them was willing or able to remove the curse.
Belkar: So now I've got to stay within one mile of Queenhilt and not stab anyone inside a town or city.

Panel 3

Belkar: And what's worse, I have to wear this ridiculous disguise if I want to go anywhere in this town without being arrested.
Belkar: Blue is not my color, people!
Belkar momentarily reveals himself to be walking on stilts inside his blue cloak.

Panel 4

Belkar: Can anyone tell me how in the Abyss I'm supposed to have ANY fun under those conditions??

Panel 5

An attractive woman carrying a drink walks enters from stage left.
Belkar: Oooo.... Question asked and answered!

Panel 6

Belkar: Hey there, fetching young lady. May I be of any assistance in getting this party started?
Girl: Sure! Wanna dance?

Panel 7

Music wafts in from off-panel in purple text.
Musicians (off-panel): ♪♪Tonight we're gonna party like it's 999!♪
Girl: Giggle! You're so light on your feet!

Panel 8

One of Belkar's stilts comes loose and falls to the ground, "crack! thunk!"

Panel 9

beat

Panel 10

Belkar: Leprosy.
Belkar: What?

Panel 11

She runs away, flinging her drink.
Girl: EEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!
Belkar: Hey, you know, you're no nymph, honey.

Panel 12

Belkar: No, I'm just saying, you might want to consider toning up those arms before you pass judgment on someone else, sister.
Belkar: Prude.

Trivia Edit

  • The music and the color of the text in the seventh panel is a reference to Prince's song 1999 from his 1982 album of the same name. The song is one of his best known hits though it did not break the top 40 when originally released.
  • Leprosy is a disease which can cause the loss of limbs.
  • The first panel features the final appearance of Fellow Medium-Sized Paladin, a character who first appeared in #290 and made an appearance which is apparently chronologically just prior to this one in #298. He is believed by some to be early appearances of O-Chul, though not by the official appearance counter of the GiantITP.com forums, Wrecan.

External Links Edit

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