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A Comic as Lovely as a Tree
Order of the Stick comic
OOTS0150
Comic no. 150
Date published 21 February 2005
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Durkon's hidden fear is about to be tested to the limit. And no, it's not of forest monsters.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

A sign reads "Druids Local 303 welcomes you to Wooden Forest"
Durkon: May Thor protect me soul as I journey into the heart o' darkness.

Panel 2

Haley: Durkon, don't tell me you're scared of a few forest monsters.
Durkon: Na tha monsters, lass. Something far more sinister:
Durkon: Tha trees!

Panel 3

Haley: You're kidding.
Durkon: Nay! They may look all peacef'l, but they be out ta get us dwarves.

Panel 4

Durkon: I ne'er saw one 'til I be a man, leavin' the dwarven tunnels fer good, but I know they be Evil.
Durkon: Haven't ye ever thought aboot how suspicious it be tha trees can always be found in such large groups?

Panel 5

Cut to Thor in a cloud striking a tree with a lightning bolt.
Durkon (off-panel): And why else would me patron, Thor, strike down so many each year with his mighty lightnin' if they weren't Evil?
Thor: Gotcha!

Panel 6

Flashback to the Dwarven Lands where two dwarves battle a tree root.
Durkon (inset): Back in the homelands, they always be encroachin' on our territory.
Dwarf #1: Captain, roots are breaching our perimeter in Tunnels F, Q, and V.
Dwarf #2: If I don't make it, tell my wife I love her.

Panel 7

Haley: That's ridiculous. Why would anyone be scared of a tree?
Durkon: Think about it, lass.

Panel 8

Durkon: Just one tree has Colossal size, natural armor, damage reduction, hundreds o' hit points, and enough limbs ta make a dozen or more attacks per round.

Panel 9

Roy: Durkon, trees can't MOVE.
Durkon: Can't they move, lad? Or is it just tha they move so slow, we cannae see them sneakin' up on us?

Panel 10

Roy: So now trees are some kind of stealthy assassin??
Durkon: Gods, yes, man. It's like yer people always are sayin':

Panel 11

Durkon: "If a tree kills alone in the forest, does it make a sound?"

D&D Context Edit

  • Durkon has a pretty good grasp of how trees are represented in game. Colossal is a specific size category in the game.

Trivia Edit

External links Edit

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