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Reading is Fundamental
Order of the Stick comic
OOTS0092
Comic no. 92
Date published 2 August 2004
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"Proof That I am Deeply Disturbed" "Teenage Wasteland"
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Vaarsuvius shows us a use for an oft-overlooked spell.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Vaarsuvius: Sir Greenhilt has fallen behind. The goblins are right on his heels.
Haley: He needs to invest in a decent pair of running shoes if we are going to keep fleeing from things like this.
Belkar: Pffft. Shoes are for suckers. All part of a big conspiracy on the part of the cobblers.
Elan: The peach desserts? Wow, they always looked so innocent.

Panel 2

Belkar: Crap! A dead end! We are so screwed!!
Haley: Start searching for secret doors.
Vaarsuvius: I do not sense a secret door.
Haley: It's a dungeon, V, there's always a secret door.

Panel 3

A trapdoor opens
Unseen Voice (under the trapdoor): Pssst!! Hey, down here. It's safe.
Haley: Eek!

Panel 4

Belkar: It's a trap door!
Haley: Told you so.

Panel 5

Haley: Wait, we need to be careful. Who are you?
Unseen Voice: I can tell you who we are not. We are not 50 angry goblin soldiers.
Haley: Point taken.

Panel 6

Haley: Everyone down the trap door.
Elan: (jumping down) Wheee!,
Vaarsuvius: I shall wait for Sir Greenhilt and Master Thundershield. I have an idea.

Panel 7

Roy: They are right behind us!
Haley: In! In!
Roy: V, stop writing on the wall and get down there!
Vaarsuvius: Yes, yes, one moment...

Panel 8

The trapdoor shuts

Panel 9

Goblin #1: Aha! Now we've got you...trapped?
Fruit Pie Goblin: Dead end! Start searching for secret doors.
Goblin #2: Why?
Fruit Pie Goblin: It's a dungeon, there's always a secret door.

Panel 10

Goblin #1: Wait, is there something written on the wall over there?
Various Other Goblins: Oh yeah. What's it say? I wanna see!
Fruit Pie Goblin: Hold on, it's real tiny, I gotta get close.

Panel 11

Vaarsuvius' message reads: "I prepared Explosive Runes this morning"
Goblin #2: Huh. I wonder what that—

Panel 12

The Runes explode, killing the goblins.

D&D Context Edit

  • Elves gain a bonus to sensing hidden doors.
  • Explosive Runes is a 3rd-level Wizard spell that produces a rune that explodes when someone reads it.
  • Haley: It's a dungeon, V, there's always a secret door.
    • DMs often build many secret passages, traps, and doors into their dungeons.
  • Halflings don't wear shoes; their feet have tough leathery soles and hairy insoles, obviating the need for shoes.

Trivia Edit

External Links Edit

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