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Elan and Haley go down into the crater to help Roy, Belkar, and unDurkon, but find that the soldiers of the Empire of Blood refuse to fight Elan. Vaarsuvius finishes his or her first stint of captivity in the Abyss.

Cast[]

Transcript[]

Panel 1

Elan and Haley charge down into the crater.
Elan: Stop! I'll fight your whole army with my whole sword-y!
Amir: Oh yeah? You want a piece of—
Lizardfolk Soldier: Whoa, Amir! That's the General's son!

Panel 2

Amir: Oh crap, thanks—I almost stepped in that one, didn't I?
Elan: Come on! Aren't you gonna fight me?
Lizardfolk Soldier: No way. We'll fight the guy with the big sword—he can only kill us. Your old man can have our whole families wiped out.

Panel 3

Elan: Hey! No fair!
Elan: Somebody fight me!
Elan: Please?

Panel 4

Haley: We can still help. Start singing to boost my damage, and I'll pick off the crossbowmen at the edge of the crater.
Elan: Awww, but I wanted to fight some bad guys!
Haley: You'll be defying your father by playing a support role.
Elan: Oh yeah!

Panel 5

Elan (singing): ♪Rub, rub, rub, rub my father's face in my uselessness!♪♪
Haley kills four crossbowmen right in front of Tarquin, "thunk! thunk! thunk! thunk!"

Panel 6

Cut to the Abyss.
Lee: I wonder what's going on up there.
Nero: Probably just more tedious family angst.
Cedrik: Don't worry, I set my half-fiendish Teevo before I came over.
Off-panel, a timer runs out, DING!

Panel 7

The IFCC stands over Vaarsuvius and Blackwing, still strapped to a table and gagged. Sabine is sweeping up the smashed TV with a dustpan and brush.
Lee: Ah, well, Vaarsuvius, that bell tells us that your time here is at an end.
Nero: It has been an eventful twenty minutes, that's for certain.
Cedrik: By design, naturally.

Panel 8

Vaarsuvius and Blackwing take spirit form and begin to rise up.
Lee: Try not to stress too much about when we might call you down again.
Nero: Sure, it'll probably be right in the middle of something super-important.
Cedrik: But what're you gonna do—
Cedrik: —never do anything important again?

Panel 9

Lee: So long!
Nero: Sayonara!
Cedrik: T.T.F.N.!

Panel 10

Sabine: Knock 'em dead, elf.
Cedrik: Well, that was fun, but I've got to get home and catch up on my other work.
Nero: I can't believe my presentation to the guys downstairs is due Monday.
Lee: I know what you mean, I've been ignoring my inbox all week.

Panel 11

Cut to Hell, where there is a huge desktop inbox for intra-office mail, guarded by a trio of bearded devils with axes. The inbox reads: "LEE". The box contains a huge pile of incoming souls to Hell (Baator). All the ones on top and a few that are falling into the box are soldiers of the Empire of Blood.

D&D Context[]

  • While the IFCC represents fiends of the three different evil alignments, and so they could be holding Vaarsuvius on any of seven different planes, Sabine was banished by Durkon's Holy Word spell in #859. Since she is a Chaotic Evil succubus, her home plane is the Abyss, and it is to there she would be banished, and there that they have taken Vaarsuvius, however whose home this is is unknown as Cedrik (the one who would be from the Abyss), says he is heading to his place.
  • Elan's music invokes the Inspire Courage bard class feature, giving his party bonuses to hit and damage. If Elan's level is 14, the bonus is +3.

Trivia[]

  • This is the only appearance of Amir, soldier of the Empire of Blood.

External Links[]

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