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Also, the Desert is Dry

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Also, the Desert is Dry
Order of the Stick comic
OOTS0818
Comic no. 818
Date published 5 December 2011
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"General Assistance" "Parental Insight"
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Malack wishes Durkon a pleasant goodbye and requests that Elan bring back Nale's skull for use as a tasteful study decoration. The party assumes that V will contact them via Sending tomorrow from the Semi-Elemental Plane of Ranch Dressing. Elan has a conflicted parting with his father, then as the Order flies off, Malack and Tarquin reveal that they have the basic intelligence to realize the members of the party are all working together.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Tarquin: Malack! Good, there you are.
Malack: I have no time for idle chatter, Tarquin. Your vile spawn is afoot.
Tarquin: Yes, yes. Which is why my less-vile spawn is leaving to chase him down.

Panel 2

Malack: Hrrrm. Should you defeat him, save his skull. I will pay handsomely for it to adorn my study.
Elan: That is, uh, certainly a thing that…someone could do.

Panel 3

The gang approaches the flying carpet.
Elan: I guess we’ll be leaving now, then.
Haley: Elan, aren’t you forgetting Vaarsuvius?
Elan: Oh! I forgot I was forgetting!
Roy: I, uh, I heard something about an elf wizard named Vaarsuvius that won a duel with a drow but was banished to another plane in the process.

Panel 4

Elan: What? Oh no!
Haley: Where did you hear that?
Roy: A little bird told me.

Panel 5

Elan: I hope being separated from you doesn’t make V all crackly-skinned again…
Haley: Don’t worry, Elan, V will be able to contact us with magic tomorrow, after preparing new spells.
Durkon: I suppose I oughta be leavin’ town, too. I got lots o’ pilgrimmin’ left ta do.
Malack: A shame. I enjoyed our conversations very much, and look forward to continuing them someday in the future.
Durkon: Aye, I hope tha same.

Panel 6

Elan: Dad, I don’t know what to say. The carpet, and Roy…
Tarquin: “Thank you” would suffice, or was etiquette too much formality for that mother of yours?

Panel 7

Elan: No, Dad, I mean—you’re helping us so much, but you’re such a bad guy! And all of these poor people—they—I mean—
Tarquin: Elan, please. We’ll have time to discuss our civic obligations later, once Nale has been dealt with.

Panel 8

Tarquin: Until then, let’s agree to disagree.
Elan: OK, Dad.
Elan: I guess.

Panel 9

Belkar: All aboard the Arabian Cliché Express!
Haley: Hey, Father Thundershield, we could give you a lift to the town gate if you want.
Durkon: Och, I dinnae like a carpet tha dinnae know to stay on tha floor.
Roy: Just get on the damn rug.

Panel 10

The party flies away from the palace on the carpet, with Blackwing alongside.
Elan: Bye, Dad! Thank you!

Panel 11

Malack: You know, I can’t shake the feeling that they’re all secretly working together.
Tarquin: Gee, you think?

Trivia Edit

  • Blackwing told Roy and Belkar about Vaarsuvius' banishment to the Semi-Elemental Plane of Ranch Dressing in #809.
  • It would hard to know if Tarquin is being sarcastic in the last panel were it not for the title. Tarquin's dry humor gives away that he has known about the connection between the group all along, or at least from one of Elan's several slips that revealed he knows Roy, Belkar, and Durkon.

External Links Edit

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