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And Yet, the Canned Meat Merchant Still Gets Through
Order of the Stick comic
OOTS0812
Comic no. 812
Date published 24 October 2011
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The palace guards get sent out searching for Nale, Durkon cordially thanks Malack for the timely save, and we learn that Tarquin's soldiers use captchas and cryptographically strong passwords as anti-shapeshifter countermeasures.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Elan: I can’t believe he got away!
Malack: No. The range of that spell is limited, he could not have gone far.
Malack: GUARDS!!

Panel 2

Malack: Search the palace and the construction site for Tarquin’s other son. The one with the beard.
Malack: He’s dressed in black and should be trailing blood as he goes.
Lizardfolk Soldier: Understood.

Panel 3

Malack: Also, he is attempting to rendezvous with his demoness accomplice, so initiate Infiltration Protocol for the palace grounds.
Human Soldier: Yes, Minister Malack.

Panel 4

Malack: I will search on my own as well, after I retrieve my staff and a few scrolls from the chapel.
Malack: You are welcome to join me, should you desire to witness his end.
Elan: I think we need to restore Haley first. I don’t want Sabine to pop back around and smash her.
Malack: A wise precaution.

Panel 5

Elan: So I guess we’ll catch up when we’re all fixed up. Thanks for all your help!
Malack: I did not do it for you, human. I intend to see justice done for the murder of my offspring.

Panel 6

Malack: Just to be clear, that WAS Nale, correct? You are not an identical triplet, quadruplet, or quintuplet, are you?
Elan: I don’t think so, but I guess there could be a True Neutral brother out there named Lean or Anel or something.

Panel 7

Durkon: Yer timin’ were most impeccable, Minister.
Durkon: Shame aboot tha teapot, tho.
Malack: I am glad I could be of assistance to you, Brother.
Elan: Heh heh. “Anel”.

Panel 8

Durkon: If’n ye dinnae mind me askin’, wha ‘xactly be this “Infiltration Protocol” ye just mentioned?
Malack: An emergency procedure Tarquin invented in the event of a suspected shapeshifter.

Panel 9

Cut to inside the palace.
Human soldier: HALT! Who goes there?
Trevon: It’s me, Trevon.
Human Soldier: What is the password?

Panel 10

Trevon: ze#r5raS7a.
Human Soldier: Are you a human? Yes/No?
Trevon: Yes.
Human Soldier: Now write what you see.
The other soldier holds a sign with a captcha on it.

D&D Context Edit

  • While Sabine's Teleportation ability could have taken her almost anywhere, Nale's Dimension Door spell only has a range of 400 ft + 40 ft/level (or 1000 ft if Nale is 15th level). So Malack knows he is still close.

Trivia Edit

  • The title is a joke on spam (canned meat), and spam (junk email) which gets past captcha tests on the internet.
  • Some theorize that Anel will appear in a later comic.
  • This is the only appearance of Trevon.

External Links Edit

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