We Recommend Tsukiko
Order of the Stick comic
Elan uses one of his rarely-seen class features to escape: seducing female bad guys.
Comic no. 794
Date published 8 June 2011
Comic chronology
← Previous Next →
"Critical Thinking" "Back to the Action"
Comic list
View the comic
View discussion

Elan uses his 18 charisma to make Sabine swoon. Sabine explains why Evil girls fall for "good boys". Elan takes the opportunity of the lover's quarrel he engendered to escape.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Sabine holds Elan captive while Nale interrogates him.
Nale: So... you’ve met Father now, what do you think of him? 
Elan: I think I finally understand why you’re the way you are. You’re just like him.

Panel 2

Nale: I’m NOTHING like him!
Nale: He’s a shortsighted fool, content to live out his dwindling day in luxury rather than seize true power.
Nale: With just the resources he commands now, he could rule this world forever if he had the guts to use them.

Panel 3

Elan: No, I meant more with the whole, “Hey, let’s kill a bunch of innocent people,” thing.
Nale: Oh, yeah, sure. I guess we were always able to bond over that.

Panel 4

Elan: Plus, there’s the fact that you’re both totally crazy, and I’m not going to let either one of you get away with your evil schemes!
Nale: My, you’re just full of pluck today, Brother.
Elan: My pluckocity is constant!

Panel 5

Nale: Sabine, dearest, I think our guest needs one more of your energy-draining kisses to remind me of his current bind.
Sabine: With pleasure, darling.
Elan: No—the pleasure is mine!

Panel 6

Elan sweeps Sabine off her feet and surprises her with a passionate kiss, "SMOOCH!!" Elan is energy drained

Panel 7

Sabine closes her eyes and wraps her legs around Elan as they continue to make out.
Nale: Um…OK, that’s good.
Nale: That’s… that’s enough negative levels, honey.
Nale: Sabine?
Nale: SABINE!!

Panel 8

Sabine: Oh, uh… sorry, Nale, uh… I was just...
Nale: You were just playtesting the grapple rules with my brother’s tongue!

Panel 9

Sabine: Nale, honey, come on. We’ve been over this before, it’s not like that.
Nale: Uh huh, sure.
Nale: I know how much you’re attracted to those edgy “good boys,” Sabine.
Nale: You know I can never be that!

Panel 10

Sabine: No, Nale, that’s not what I want.
Sabine Sure, women like me swoon for a hero, but that’s only because deep down, we think we can change them.
Sabine: But me, I’m done with that now. I want a nice, safe, reliable mass-murderer that I can depend on. Like you.

Panel 11

Nale: Oh really? Why don’t you just go chase after him, then?
Sabine: Nale, you know I love you. I didn’t—
Nale: No, I mean literally. Go chase after him. He’s escaping.

Panel 12

Cut to Elan who is running into another room, holding the petrified and miniaturized Haley.
Elan: I’m really sorry about that, Tiny Stone Haley, but I had to escape.
Elan: I promise, when this is over, you can make out with any of our recurring villains you want.

D&D Context Edit

  • The original AD&D (1st edition) grappling rules were quite complicated, to the point that almost no one even understands how they all work. Subsequent editions simplified grappling. Playtesting is the the process where people play out a set of rules to see if they work in practical use, something the original grappling rules could have benefited from.

Trivia Edit

  • The title of the comic refers to Elan's last line; specifically that Haley can make out with any of the reoccurring villains in the series. "We Recommend Tsukiko" suggests that Rich Burlew and the readers of this comic would enjoy Haley making out with Tsukiko rather than one of the male villains of the comic despite Haley's apparent heterosexuality, presumably for the titillation factor of "girl on girl" action. Two other facts worth mentioning in relation to this: Tsukiko has shown a strong preference for dead (or undead) lovers, and Haley has already made out with one of the reoccurring villains of the strip, namely Nale, in #386.

External Links Edit

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.