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Also, "Chib" Would Have Been Acceptable
Order of the Stick comic
OOTS0771
Comic no. 771
Date published 28 January 2011
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Roy once again resolves a comedic misunderstanding with violence.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Geoff: Tarquin's long-lost son.
Haley: No, Uncle Geoff, stop!
Geoff: I figure he ought to be worth something, don't you, Ian?
Ian: Hmm. Good work.
Elan: I wonder if I qualify for some sort of hostage-based prestige class by now...

Panel 2

Haley: No, Dad, you don't understand. That's not Nale, that's—
Ian: —Tarquin's other son, Elan. I know. We're having gladiatorial games in his honor in the morning.

Panel 4

Ian: That doesn't make him any less of a bargaining chip, though.
Haley: Dad!
Ian: In fact, if the parades and festivals are any indication, Tarquin values him MORE than his other son.

Panel 5

Elan: Hi! You must be Mr. Starshine. It's a pleasure to meet you, sir. Haley's told me so much about you.
Elan: Well, slightly more than she's told anyone else about you, but still.
Ian: How do you know my name? Or my daughter?

Panel 6

Haley: Dad, that's what I've been trying to tell you. Elan's part of my team.
Ian: What?
Haley: He helped me break in here to rescue you.
Ian: Part of your... Oh, Kitten. Don't you see?

Panel 7

Ian: You've been had, Haley.
Elan: Ok, yes, but it was consensual every time, sir!

Panel 8

Ian: Don't you see? Tarquin must have sent him!
Haley: WHAT? No, Dad, you're jumping to—
Ian: He joined your team to gather information on us—or maybe or catch you red-handed in the act of busting me out!
Elan: That's not what he sent me here for at all! No, wait, I mean, he didn't send me here at all!
Geoff: No one uses my niece like that, you little bastard. Make peace with your god.
Elan: I can't! He's in my pocket!
Roy (off-panel): Excuse me.

Panel 9

Roy: I just wanted to let you know that this in no way reflects my views on the differently-abled.
Geoff: Huh? What do you—

Panel 10

Roy hits Geoff with a massive "POW!"

Panel 11

Roy: Now, let's have this conversation again, only without any pointy bits of metal against anyone's throat.
Elan: It's called a "shiv", Roy. Or possibly a "shank".

Panel 12

Roy: "Gee, thanks for helping me, Roy."
Elan: No need to thank me, I like helping you learn new things.
Elan: Also, Roy is your name, not mine.
Roy: *sigh*

D&D Context Edit

  • Prestige Classes are a kind of multiclassing introduced in D&D 3.0 Edition. Characters may not start in a prestige class; they must start in one of the base classes. But if they meet certain prerequisites, they can then multiclass to a prestige class. Elan has levels in the Dashing Swordsman prestige class invented for this comic.

Trivia Edit

  • A Shiv, Chib, or Shank is a knife, usually an improvised knife in a prison setting.

External Links Edit

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