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Just Trying to Help
Order of the Stick comic
OOTS0762
Comic no. 762
Date published 29 November 2010
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"Advanced (S)wordplay" "Plotting Something"
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Tarquin declines to execute Elan when given the chance.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Elan: You—you blocked my puns! How did you do that??
Tarquin: I know how to defend myself against many obscure combat techniques.
Tarquin: Though I admit that it has been many years since I've been called upon to pun-duel.

Panel 2

Elan: OK, well. I guess this is where you kill me, right?
Tarquin: Excuse me?
Elan: Tell Haley I love her, and you should probably write Mom a letter too.

Panel 3

Elan: Also, if you could stab me in one of the less hurty organs, I'd really appreciate it, Dad.
Elan: Nale went for the liver the first time, and MAN, did that smart.

Panel 4

Tarquin: Elan, I have no interest in hurting you.
Elan: Huh?
Tarquin: You attacked me, remember?
Elan: I don't understand. You're Evil!

Panel 5

Tarquin: Even if I were to place myself within your limited and unrealistic "alignment system", why would that be a reason to harm you?
Tarquin: You are my sole remaining son! I do love you. And I would gain nothing by your demise.
Tarquin: So we disagree on a few philosophical issues, so what? I'm actually enjoying our spirited debate.

Panel 6

Elan: "Debate"? We just dueled, Dad! With actual weapons!
Tarquin: I know! It was bracing!

Panel 7

Elan: So...then what happens now?
Tarquin: The same as before. You and your friends spend the rest of the festival here, and then I give you the information on that Draketooth fellow you're so keen to find.
Tarquin: And off you go.

Panel 8

Elan: You're still going to help us?
Tarquin: Sure! Why not?
Elan: Well, the "Evil" thing leaps to mind again.

Panel 9

Tarquin: *sigh*
Tarquin: Elan, if a hero of your caliber is involved in a quest of such significance that you can't spare more than three days for your old man—
Tarquin: —then logic dictates that it probably involves trouncing some clichéd scenery-chewing villain bent on world conquest.
Tarquin: As the current ruler of one-third of the continent, I have a vested interest in you doing exactly that.

Panel 10

Tarquin: In fact, I have a few duplicate magic items that may really help you.
Tarquin: Do you have a Ring of Regeneration yet? I never leave home without mine.

Panel 11

Elan: Yeah, right. Like I would use your crazy evil ring that you probably, like, tortured somebody to death or something to give it magic.
Tarquin: Now that is quite enough, young man. I am frankly offended that you would even suggest that I would do such a thing to—

Panel 12

Tarquin: Wait, who do you consider a "somebody"?
Elan: Anybody!
Tarquin: Fine, fine, I'll keep the ring, then.

D&D Context Edit

  • D&D has a two-axis Alignment system, which is composed of nine alignments. The two axes are good/evil and law/chaos.
  • A Ring of Regeneration allows a character to heal one hit point per hour rather than the normal healing rate of one hit point per day.

Trivia Edit

  • Nale stabbed Elan through the liver (apparently) in #56.

External Links Edit

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