|“Mammals Can't Seem to Get Enough of Those Things”|
|Order of the Stick comic|
|Date published||27 May 2010|
|View the comic|
Haley meets Tarquin.
- Panel 1
Elan: Haley! Oh my GODS! This is so awesome, this is my father! My real honest-to-goodness father! Can you believe it??
Haley: What, the guy who pushed me out a window? Really?
Tarquin: I'm General Tarquin, father to both Nale and Elan.
- Panel 2
Elan: Dad, this is my girlfriend, Haley.
Tarquin: My humblest apologies. Had I known you were my son's lover, I would not have defenestrated you earlier.
Haley: Ummm... OK.
- Panel 3
Tarquin: You remind me a little of my fifth wife.
Haley: Oh? Was she a redhead, too?
Tarquin: No, but she had the most magnificent set of perky round—
Haley: Eyes. Let's both pretend you were about to say, "eyes".
Tarquin: Fair enough.
- Panel 4
Elan: Isn't this just so cool??
Haley: But how did he get here? Why is he working for the Empire of Blood?
Elan: Oh, sorry, baby—we answered those questions in the last strip. I'll fill you in later.
- Panel 5
Tarquin: Please, I would be honored if you would consider making yourselves guests in our palace.
Elan: Oooo! Oooo! Yes! So we can talk and bond and stuff!
Haley: Actually, we have some friends we really need to get back to...
Vaarsuvius (whispering): If I can trance for a few hours, I can regain my Sending spell to contact Sir Greenhilt.
- Panel 6
Elan: Please, Haley? Pleeeeeease?
Haley: OK, fine, we can stay here for today.
- Panel 7
Tarquin and Elan: HOORAY!!
Tarquin: I'll have Kilkil draw up passage papers for the three of you, and I'll lead you to your rooms.
- Panel 8
Haley: Elan, I know you're thrilled to meet your father—and I certainly don't mind learning that you'll still look sexy with grey hair—
Haley: —but I think we need to be careful.
Elan: Careful? Of what?
Tarquin: The guest quarters are right down this hallway, past the library.
- Panel 9
Haley: I'm not sure, exactly, but all that stuff you said to the Empress about slavery and stuff still applies.
Haley: Plus, he IS the man who raised Nale.
Elan: Yeah, I guess you're right. I should really try not to get too—
- Panel 10
Tarquin: ...And through that door are our dinosaur stables.
Elan: Lemme see! Lemme see! Lemme see!
Haley: Elan? Elan, come back!
- Panel 11
Vaarsuvius: Not surprisingly, ethical concerns cannot overcome the siren's lure of a triceratops ride.
Blackwing: I bet her perky eyes would stand a better chance.
- Elan previously showed his love of dinosaurs in #693, Tragically, His Arms Would Be Too Short for the Lute.