|“Breakfast of Champions”|
|Order of the Stick comic|
|Date published||6 May 2010|
|View the comic|
Elan manages to persuade Malack he is of no use. The Empress is hungry.
- Panel 1
Empress: My breakfast isn't done yet. I don't want to start the talking stuff until after my breakfast.
Empress: Or wait! Let's not do talking stuff today at all, and I can have more food then. Yeah, that's a better idea.
Malack: Maybe we will consider that plan, Empress, but I need you to approve the payment of this bounty first.
Empress: What bounty?
Gannji: The one you posted for this "Nale" and his friends.
Empress: May I eat him? Is he edible?
- Panel 2
Haley escapes the rope that bound her.
Haley: Not only is he not edible, Your Corpulence, he's not Nale.
Gannji: Hey, wait. Weren't you tied up a moment ago?
Haley: That was a moment ago.
- Panel 3
Haley: Sure, this debonair blond may LOOK like Nale, but that's because he's his identical twin brother, Elan.
Gannji: Yeah, right. That's right up there with, "I turned into a werewolf and ate my homework."
- Panel 4
Haley: They were separated when they were infants and only recently became aware of each other's existence.
Elan: It's true, Your Blobbity-Blobness. The only physical difference is my enhanced beardlessness.
- Panel 5
Elan: But when it comes to personality, I'm nothing like my brother.
Elan: I'd never betray you if you were trying to conquer a country.
Haley: You tell 'em, honey!
- Panel 6
Elan: I would probably oppose you from the start because the whole blood theme really screams "EVIL!"
Elan: Plus, I hear there's some sort of slavery, so I'd probably be all up in your business about that.
Haley: OK, honey, Quiet Time.
- Panel 7
Empress: Up in my business? UP IN MY BUSINESS??
Empress: No one gets all up in my business, I get all up in THEIR business!
Empress: OR POSSIBLY THEIR GRILL!!
- Panel 8
Empress (off-panel): GRRRARR!
Elan: Uh oh, I think maybe she has a bit of a temper...
Haley: No, really? Think how testy I can get, and I'm only the "Empress of Blood" a few days each month.
- Panel 9
Empress (off-panel): GRRRRARR!
Malack: Empress, you must calm yourself. Please!
Malack: If this man is who he claims to be, then he can at least help us locate the real Nale.
Elan: Oh, I absolutely could—
- Panel 10
Elan: —if Nale hadn't died in a huge exploding castle almost a year ago.
Malack: So...you either ARE Nale, or you're of no use to use whatsoever.
Elan: Well, I guess if you want to put it that—
- Panel 11
Malack: Madame Empress, I believe I have an answer to your query about whether or not you may eat him.
Elan: I bet it's "No".
- This strip shares the same title as Comic #401.