|“Spring Break Never Dies”|
|Order of the Stick comic|
|Date published||27 april 2010|
|View the comic|
The bounty hunters turn over Haley, Elan, and V to Chancelor Kilkil and Minister Malack.
- Haley Starshine ◀ ▶
- Elan ◀ ▶
- Vaarsuvius ◀ ▶
- Blackwing ◀ ▶
- Malack ▶
- Kilkil ▶
- Ereshkigal (as idol) ▶
- Nergal (as idol) ▶
- Palace Guard Corporal ◀
- The Grim Reaper
- A Hot Blonde Adventurer
- Panel 1
Kilkil: Hello, hello, hello. Collecting a bounty, I presume?
Gannji: Yeah, I got this guy named "Nale" and two of his associates.
Kilkil: Hmmm. That must be an older posting. I'm not familiar with it. Let me check my files.
- Panel 2
Kilkil: Oh my. That's quite the prize you've caught. It's been flagged to go to the Empress herself.
Gannji: Is that a good thing?
Kilkil: For you? Certainly. Less so for him.
Kilkil: Follow me.
- Panel 3
Kilkil: But it does mean that we'll have to get him cleaned up.
Kilkil: This is the "Empire of Blood", not the "Empire of Blood All Over Our New Carpets."
Kilkil: Our chapel is right through here, we'll get one of the acolytes to heal—
- Panel 4
Kilkil: Oh! Minister Malack! I'm—I'm sorry, Your Holiness, I didn't know you were in here!
Malack: Do not trouble yourself, Chancellor. I have completed my burnt offerings to the gods.
Malack: Do you require clerical assistance?
- Panel 5
Kilkil: Well, uh, these men are bringing in a bounty that's been flagged. I thought he should be healed first.
Malack: Ahhhh, Nale. Yes, you chose wisely, Kilkil. He should stand when he answers for his crimes.
- Panel 6
Elan: Whuh... what's going on?
- Panel 7
Malack: I will have the pleasure of escorting you to your final fate.
Malack: I have waited some years, after all.
- Panel 8
Elan: AHHH! It's the grim reaper!!!
Elan: The lizard grim reaper!
Elan: The lizgreaper!!
- Panel 9
Malack: ...Do you not recognize me?
- Panel 10
Elan: Haley!! And V?? They killed you too?
Haley: Baby, you aren't dead.
Vaarsuvius: You are, however, still an imbecile.
Elan: Well, at least you took bad guys down with you.
Malack: Enough of your mindgames. We depart.
- Panel 11
Elan: Games! That's it! Quick, Haley, challenge the lizgreaper to a game! I heard a song about that once.
Haley: Elan, he's just an albino lizardfolk.
Elan: But what game? What competition should we choose that you could defeat Death himself at??
- Panel 12
Victim: Wet t-shirt contest!
Grim Reaper: ...
Grim Reaper: I'll get the hose.
- In the penultimate panel, Elan says he "heard a song" about challenging death to a game. There are a number songs which could fit this reference, as there is a common concept going back to ancient Greece of playing a game with the personification of death to prolong life (particularly chess, as in Ingmar Bergman's 1957 film, The Seventh Seal). Songs which fit the bill for Elan's reference include:
- No New Kinda Story from Starflyer 59's 1999 album, Everybody Makes Mistakes. The music video is an homage to Bergman's The Seventh Seal.
- The Devil Went Down to Georgia, by the Charlie Daniels Band from their 1979 album, Million Mile Reflections, though in this case the challenge is made to the Devil, rather than Death.
- Tenacious D's 2002 song Tribute from their eponymous 2002 album likewise involves a challenge with a devil to play good music.
- The title track of Sting's 1991 The Soul Cages has a drinking contest between a child and a demon with the child's father's soul on the line.
- Scott Walker's 1969 album Scott 4 features the song The Seventh Seal which references Ingmar Bergman's film of the same name in which the protagonist plays a game of chess with death.
- The title, which relates to the final panel, suggest that the phenomenon of spring break, as practiced by collegiate co-eds on Florida beaches, will never go away because a wet t-shirt contest is a game which Death cannot win.
- This is the first appearance of Malack, the High Priest of Nergal.
- This is the first appearance of Kilkil, Chancellor of the Empire of Blood.
- This is the first appearance (as idols) of Malack's god Nergal and his wife Ereshkigal.
- This is the final appearance of the Palace Guard Corporal from the previous strip.
- This is the only appearance of the Grim Reaper.