|“Plus, He Probably Spits, Too”|
|Order of the Stick comic|
|Date published||1 October 2009|
|View the comic|
Balkar helps out by disengaging Durkon from the date palm.
- The Order of the Stick
- Mr. Scruffy ◀ ▶
- Blackwing ◀ ▶
- Female Camel Drover ▶
- Another Camel Drover
- Three Dromedaries
- Panel 1
Roy: I got all that I needed from the mapmaker, so here's the plan: We travel north with this caravan for the first few days, over the rocky parts.
Roy: Then, we'll split off at the first oasis and head west into the open desert, using the sun and stars as guides.
Roy: Any questions?
Elan: Oooo! Oooo! Oooo! Oooo!
Roy: No, we cannot get our own camel.
- Panel 2
Elan: Why not? They store water for up to 12 days, and we'll need water in the desert!
Roy: They store water for themselves, Elan. They don't have a tap on the side for us to get a quick drink when we need it!
- Panel 3
Roy: Durkon can create all the water we'll need during—wait. Where's Durkon?
Elan: Oh, uh, he stopped to pick a fight with a palm tree a while back.
Roy: For the love of—
Belkar: No fears, Roy. The New and Improved Belkar Bitterleaf will bring you both what you want.
- Panel 4
Belkar and Mr. Scruffy walk a while.
- Panel 5
Belkar arrives at the date palm that Durkon is attacking.
Belkar: Hey, Dwarf-for-Brains, we're moving out.
Durkon: Na now, Belkar!
Durkon: I think I finally got 'im on tha ropes!
- Panel 6
Durkon: I'll nay let ye corrupt this fine town, ye date-bearing bitch!
Durkon sitting near the top of a bend-down-palmtree, hits the top with his hammer, "thunk!"
Belkar: Ooooookay. Jump up, Mr. Scruffy.
- Panel 7
With Belkar and Mr. Scruffy's weight, the tree bends more, "creeeee..."
Durkon: Ye've come ta lend aid? Good man!
Belkar: Not exactly, on either count. Jump down Mr. Scruffy.
- Panel 8
Tree springs back, "sproing!", causing Durkon to fall on the ground, "WUMP!"
- Panel 9
Durkon: Och, mebbe yer right, Belkar. Mebbe I should jus' come—
Belkar: Hold that thought.
- Panel 10
Durkon's hammer falls on his head, "thonk!"
- Panel 11
Durkon and Belkar return to the order, Durkon got a bruise around a eye and a bump on his head.
Belkar: See? You wanted the dwarf back, and Elan wanted a shaggy, smelly, ill-tempered beast with a hump. Everyone's happy!
Belkar: I love helping people!
- Belkar decided to be more helpful in #606.
- Durkon's irrational fear of trees is a #Durkon's fear of trees|running gag.
- Camels do not store water in their humps as was once commonly believed. The hump is a fat store. Camels do have other adaptations which make them tolerant of dehydration. As the title quips, camels are also known to spit, something Durkon is not known for.
- This is the first appearance of the Female Camel Drover.