|“It Costs an Armor Leg”|
|Order of the Stick comic|
|Date published||4 September 2009|
|View the comic|
Elan demonstrates his skill at haggling.
- Panel 1
Merchant: Welcome to my armory tent. How may I be of service?
Haley: I'm looking for some new magic armor. I get hit more often than a blackjack player facing a deck of deuces.
Haley: I'd like to ditch these long leather pants and get something more appropriate to the desert heat.
- Panel 2
Merchant: You're wearing long pants?
Haley: Yeah, I know. The way we're drawn makes it sort of hard to tell.
Elan: For the first 100 strips, I thought I was barefoot.
- Panel 3
Merchant: Let's see... How about this one?
Merchant: It offers superior magical protection from wounds and the heat.
Haley: I like the desert color scheme... I'll try it.
- Panel 4
Merchant: Can I get you anything?
Elan: No thanks, armor interferes with my class abilities.
Merchant: Perhaps one of our magic belts, then?
Elan: Oh! Well, I guess my pants can use all the help they can get staying on.
- Panel 5
Haley: What do you think?
Elan: Um, Haley, I thought those were only for our private time.
Haley: Four people on the street have accidentally addressed me as "young man" since we got here. I think some flaunting is in order.
Durkon: Tha's na leather armor! Leather armor be stiff an' boiled ta deflect blows.
Merchant: Of course, men's leather armor. Women's leather armor pretty much amounts to any attractive outfit that has one or more leather items in it.
Merchant: I once sold a winsome young lass a leather headband that was more effective than plate.
- Panel 6
Haley: I'll take it.
Merchant: Very good. That will be 25,000 gold pieces.
Haley: I doubt this has 25,000 molecules in it. I'll give you 10 grand at most.
- Panel 7
Merchant: 20,000 gp, as long as you don't mind my children starving.
Haley: I'll have the dwarf summon some food for them. 14 thousand.
Merchant: 16,000 gp, and I'll dye your boots to match for free.
- Panel 8
Haley: But dye these ones instead, OK?
Elan: What just happened there, with all the big numbers and stuff?
Haley: It's called haggling, honey. It's pretty common around here. Rather than paying the asking price, the buyer and the seller argue over what it is worth until they agree.
- Panel 9
Elan: Oooo! I want to try!
Haley: No, Elan, wait—
- Panel 10
Elan: How much for this Belt of Charisma?
Merchant: 6,000 gp.
Elan: I'll give you 8,000.
- Panel 11
Elan: YES! I got it in one try! I am totally the best haggler ever!
Durkon: Och, that's gotta smart.
Haley: Nah, I included a fairly substantial "Elan Tax" in the initial budget for this shopping trip.
Haley: Though I did expect him to spend most of it purchasing local bridges.
- The boots Haley gets dyed are the lime green Boots of Speed first mentioned in #3, See Spot Spot, later in #573, Slumber Party and last seen in #608, Mean Girls.
- The title is a pun on the saying "It costs an arm and a leg."
- In the last panel, Haley mentions that she expected Elan to spend their gold "purchasing local bridges". This is in reference to a scam that began in the early 1900's, where George C. Parker conned people into buying the Brooklyn Bridge and other New York landmarks. This coined the common saying: "If you believe that, I have a bridge to sell you."