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Air Mail
Order of the Stick comic
OOTS0563
Comic no. 563
Date published 7 June 2008
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"Heroic Fantasy" "It's What's For Dinner"
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The party regroups aboard Hinjo's junk and Vaarsuvius makes a nearly successful attempt at contacting Haley.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

The party is back aboard Hinjo's junk. Daigo is speaking to the belly of Kazumi, his pregnant wife.
Daigo: Daddy learned about encumberance today.
Elan:—so even though Vurkle was able to scarf down three more blueberry pies than I was, we had so much fun that Chief Grukgruk agreed to trade with us.
Lien: We're trading them all the red and orange dye we have in stock.
Lien: They need it for their ceremonial garb, and it's not like anyone around here uses it.

Panel 2

Hinjo: Excellent work, Elan! I knew you could handle this diplomatic mission without me.
Elan: Thanks, Hinjo, it was awesome!
Hinjo: I do hope that the Twelve Gods are understanding about us indirectly helping to found a new religion though.
Hinjo: I think there might be a "Non-compete" clause in the paladin oaths...

Panel 3

Lien: Sir, if I may speak you privately about something I saw...or rather, heard.
Hinjo: Of course.
Elan: Oh, hey Vaarsuvius.
Elan: You missed Banjo coming to life and saving us from the orcs.
Vaarsuvius: I may not have been present, but I assure you that I did not miss it at all.

Panel 4

Durkon: I'm shocked ye left yer dark cave ta come see us.
Vaarsuvius: Your astonishment can be retracted, then, for I have ventured above deck simply to release my aerial couriers.

Panel 5

Durkon: Lien's safe, na thanks ta ye.
Vaarsuvius: Proof once again that my tactical assessment of the situation was accurate and my services were not required.

Panel 6

Vaarsuvius: And now, you will see that indeed, these last few hours have been most fruitfull:
Vaarsuvius: Vaarsuvius' Greater Animal Messenger!

Panel 7

Vaarsuvius: There! We need now only wait, either hours or days while those three enchanted birds unerringly seek out Miss Starshine, the halfling, and the late Sir Greenhilt.
Vaarsuvius: Their voyage cannot be deterred by any abjuration or illusion, I have seen to that.

Panel 8

Vaarsuvius: They shall fly directly toward the recipient and, once within five feet of them, vocally recite a message I taught them earlier.
Vaarsuvius: Once they have spoken their missive, they will wait patiently while the target dictates a return communiqué before taking to the wing once more and flying swiftly back to my presence.

Panel 9

Durkon: V, ye really must listen ta me. This ain't healthy fer ye anymore. Ye need ta stop—
Vaarsuvius: Scoff at my unending diligence if you must, but while you have engaged in the foolishness du jour, my magic has, at long last, unraveled the problem of our long separation from our allies.
Vaarsuvius: Truly, my intellect has once again sliced through the metaphorical knot of our obstacles in order to—

Panel 10

Cut to Belkar cooking the three birds on a fire, with Haley licking her lips nearby.

D&D Context Edit

  • Encumberance rules govern how much a character can carry and the effects of being overloaded.

Trivia Edit

  • In the previous strip, Elan had suggested that the only way to settle the dispute between the two puppet gods, Banjo and Giggles, was a pie eating contest.
  • A Non-compete clause in a contract prevents an employee from taking a similar job in competition with the employer.
  • This is the final appearance of Varsuvius' Blue and Yellow Birds. They first appeared in #553.

External Links Edit

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