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An Introduction to Comparative Theology
Order of the Stick comic
OOTS0559
Comic no. 559
Date published 24 May 2008
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Qarr takes matters into his own hands.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Therkla (as Banjo): —which is why pants should be forsaken whenever possible.
Elan: I've always felt the same way! Wow!
Qarr: Oh, no. No way. This is NOT ending with a big fuzzy group hug. None of you humans are leaving this island alive!

Panel 2

Daigo: What is that voice?
Durkon heals Daigo.
Elan: I dunno, but with a red-and-black speech balloon, it's probably something REALLY scary!
Qarr: I didn't want to keep resorting to the same old spell, but...
Qarr: Charm Monster!
Qarr: Chief Grukgruk, order your orcs to kill all of the humans. And the dwarf.
grukgruk: kill humans and dwarf.

Panel 3

Therkla (as Banjo): No! Banjo commands you to stop!
grukgruk: kill humans and dwarf.
crong: yes, chief grukgruk.
Therkla (as Banjo): Darn it, he's not listening anymore!

Panel 4

Therkla emerges from behind the curtain to confront Qarr.
Therkla: Why did you do that??
Qarr: I could ask you the same question. However since it will be made moot by their impending deaths, I'll return to the ship to plan our regicide—

Panel 5

Qarr:—and decide how to tell Kubota about your actions here.
Qarr: Have a nice swim back.
Qarr teleports away, "poof!"

Panel 6

Elan parries gok's axe, "kathang!"
Therkla: Elan! This way!
Elan: Hey, I remember you! You're the girl who vanished mysteriously with a loud "sploosh!" noise and a spray of water.
Therkla: Follow me, I know the fastest way to the shore.
Elan: OK!

Panel 7

Daigo: Elan looks like he has an escape route.
Durkon: Tha won't be necessary, lad. This time, tha orcs're only attackin' 'cause thar leader's been charmed...
Durkon: A situation tha power o' Thor c'n remedy! Greater Dispel Magic!

Panel 8

Durkon's magic hits grukgruk from off-panel and disspells the charm.
grukgruk: wait, why us attack?
crong: crong not privvy to rationale behind command decisions.
grukgruk: forget humans then. us stay and worship banjo in peace and harmony.

Panel 9

vurkle: has anyone seen puppet god?
grukgruk: chief grukgruk thought shaman vurkle had puppet god.
vrukle: shaman vrukle thought chief grukgruk had puppet god.
grukgruk: ...

Panel 10

All orcs chasing Durkon, Daigo, Lien, Elan, Banjo and Therkla.
Elan: Ah ha! See? My god's power to get us into trouble is stronger than your god's power to get us out of it!
Durkon: Aye? How aboot we compare Banjo's ability ta dodge wit Thor's ability to smack ye upside yer fool head?

D&D Context Edit

  • In the second panel Durkon heals Daigos wounds completely, which is likely an unannounced use of the 6th level cleric spell, Heal.
  • Charm Monster is a 4th level spell which causes any creature to treat the caster as a trusted ally and friend.
  • Greater Dispel Magic is a 6th level cleric spell which cancels other magical effects.

Trivia Edit

  • This is the final appearance of cron, gok, mungu, Balding Orc, Long-bearded Scarred Orc, and Tan-loinclothed Orc, all of whom first appeared in #551.
  • Strictly speaking, Elan and Durkon's argument is an exercise in Comparative Religion, not Comparative Theology.

External Links Edit

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