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The Puppet Mistress
Order of the Stick comic
OOTS0557
Comic no. 557
Date published 16 May 2008
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Therkla pulls Banjo's strings to prevent Elan's sacrifice.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

The prisoners are brought to the Orc village where Lien is tied to an alter for sacrifice. Therkla hides in a hut.
Daigo: Lien! Thank the Twelve Gods you're still alive. How are you doing?
Lien: Questioning the life choices that brought me to this point. You?
Daigo: The same, really.
Elan: Wow! Banjo, you have your very own altar! I'm so proud!
Therkla (whispering): *Squeal!* There he is! How does he look so good tied up?

Panel 2

Inside the hut.
Qarr: Perfect! A quick quartet of disembowelings, and we'll be ready to take our leave of this fly-infested dump.
Therkla: Wait—they're going to kill them all?!?
Qarr: Well, duh. That was the point of this mission.
Therkla: No! It wasn't!!

Panel 3

Therkla: We were going to capture Elan and hold on to him until we could assassinate Hinjo. That way he'd stay safe.
Therkla: I mean WE would stay safe. From him.
Qarr: Yeah, well, I figured it would be easier to cut to the chase—
Qarr: —'chase' in this case meaning "spinal cord"—
Qarr: —so I told Grukgruk to sacrifice all four to that stupid puppet.

Panel 4

Therkla runs out of the hut.
Therkla: Ugh! You horrid little piece of devil crap!
Qarr: Geez, what is your problem, mortal?
Qarr: No wonder you people need us to tell you how to be Evil, you'd just screw it up on your own.

Panel 5

Outside at the altar, Therkla sneaks under the curtain.
Elan: Aww, man, Hinjo's gonna be peeved that I got Lien sacrificed to my god.
Elan: He'll probably give that stern paladin look to my eviscerated remains.

Panel 6

Therkla operates Banjo.
Therkla (as Banjo): STOP!
vurkle: *gasp!*
Elan: Yes! I knew it!

Panel 7

Therkla (as Banjo): Yes, it is I, Banjo the Clown, god of puppets! I have seen you orcs worshipping me, and have chosen this moment to make my will known.
Therkla (as Banjo): Do not harm the fair human! He is my prophet, and shall not have one silky luxurious hair put out of place!
Therkla (as Banjo): Defy me, and prepare to feel my googly eyed wrath!

Panel 8

grukgruk unties Elan.
grukgruk: as banjo wish, banjo. chief grukgruk release human.
vurkle: *sigh*
vurkle: shaman vurkle never get to sacrifice anything nice.

Panel 9

Elan: Thank you, o mighty Banjo, for sparing my life. It fills me with joy to hear your words...even though it turns out that your voice is a lot deeper than I imagined it.
vurkle: what about other humans and the dwarf? they prophet too?
Therkla (as Banjo): Huh? Oh, no, I don't really care about them. Kill them, or whatever, I guess. Whatever makes you guys happy.

Panel 10

vurkle: hooray!
vurkle: sacrifice back on agenda!
Lien: Elan! If you're the prophet, SAY something!!
Elan: Truly, Banjo giveth with one hand, and taketh away with the other.
Lien: ELAN!!!
Elan: I think the hand with the banjo is the taketh-ing one. Otherwise he'd pretty much only be able to giveth banjoes.

Trivia Edit

  • In the last panel, Elan paraphrases the Book of Job from the Hebrew Bible, where Job says, "the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away...".

External Links Edit

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