|“You're No Help at All”|
|Order of the Stick comic|
|Date published||5 May 2008|
|View the comic|
Failing to enlist the aid of an increasingly haggard Vaarsuvius, Elan, Durkon, and Daigo resolve to save Banjo (and Lien) themselves.
- Elan ◀ ▶
- Durkon Thundershield ◀ ▶
- Vaarsuvius ◀ ▶
- Banjo the Clown ◀ ▶
- Lien ◀ ▶
- Daigo Da- ◀ ▶
- chief grukgruk ◀ ▶
- shaman vurkle ▶
- Vaarsuvius' Green Bird ◀ ▶
- Vaarsuvius' Blue Bird ◀ ▶
- Vaarsuvius' Yellow Bird ◀ ▶
- Panel 1
Elan: —and then the witch doctor guy grabbed Banjo off my hand and said I wasn't worthy of holding him!
Daigo: That's when the stabbing and shooting began.
Durkon: Followed by the runnin' and prayin'.
- Panel 2
Vaarsuvius: Why in the infinite planes would a tribe of orcs spontaneously begin worshipping your hand puppet?
Elan: Wouldn't a better question be, "Why don't more tribes of orcs spontaneously begin worshipping my hand puppet?"
Vaarsuvius: No, it would not.
- Panel 3
Vaarsuvius: Wait—were there not four of you when you departed?
Elan: Lien wouldn't run away.
Daigo: Because, you know...
- Panel 4
Lien: So, if you were looking to sacrifice a virgin, you'll have to find a way to travel back in time to before my Junior Prom.
vurkle: no, banjo like girl with some experience.
grukgruk: better if been around block few times.
Lien: Damn it, how does my mother keep being right about this stuff?
- Panel 5
Daigo: So, do we have a plan to rescue her?
Durkon: I dinnae exactly prepare me spells today wit stealth in mind, but I think I may be able ta—
Vaarsuvius: I wish you all the luck required to complete your endeavor.
Elan: Wait—aren't you coming with us, V???
Vaarsuvius: I am not.
- Panel 6
Vaarsuvius: I only agreed to accompany this expedition because I needed to procure several avian specimens with which to complete my current experiment, which I have done.
Vaarsuvius: I leave the details of establishing trade relations—including dealing with unforeseen consequences thereof—in the hands of those marginally more qualified.
- Panel 7
Daigo: But what about Lien??
Vaarsuvius: My sole priority lies with continuing to search for Miss Starshine.
Vaarsuvius: Lien is an adult, it is not my place to relieve her of the ramifications of her unwillingness to flee when circumstances warrant it.
- Panel 8
Durkon: Wha if she dies, Vaarsuvius? Wha then?
Vaarsuvius: Then I suppose you will need to raise her. Who knows? Perhaps we can get a message to Sir Greenhilt in that manner. Either way, it is hardly my concern.
- Panel 9
Vaarsuvius: Now if you will excuse me, my research awaits.
Durkon: Come back 'ere, ye blasted elf!
Elan: Forget it, Durkon. We can handle this on our own.
- Panel 10
Elan: I may not have been able to go back to save Haley, but I can go back and make this right. This is where we draw the line in the sand (literally) and say, "No more!"
Elan: We won't leave one of our own behind again!!
- Panel 11
Durkon: Ye ARE talkin' aboot rescuing Lien right?
Elan: We won't leave TWO of our own behind again!!
D&D Context Edit
- Fly allows Vaarsuvius to fly at a speed of 60 ft/round for about 15 minutes at V's current level.
- Lien's paladin code of conduct and immunity to fear prevents her from fleeing from a foe.
- This is the first appearance of shaman vurkle.