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Diplomacy is a Beach
Order of the Stick comic
OOTS0553
Comic no. 553
Date published 30 April 2008
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"And Yet the Turtle Got Away on His Own" "You're No Help at All"
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The orcs choose Banjo as their new god.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Elan: I think we lost them!
Daigo: Yeah, they all turned back into the jungle.
Durkon: See? I told ye they were in league wit da trees!

Panel 2

Daigo: Durkon, the trees are not conspiring with the orcs.
Durkon: Och, ye said yerself when we got 'ere tha they all looked pretty shady ta ye.

Panel 3

Elan: Vaarsuvius! You need to help us!
Vaarsuvius: Why no, it never becomes tiresome hearing THAT shouted at oneself, thank you for inquiring.

Panel 4

Vaarsuvius: Am I to assume from your hurried egress from the foliage that you failed utterly in securing an oral agreement to resupply the fleet?
Daigo: They seemed OK with supplying us with arrows—one at a time.
Elan: I don't even know what happened!

Panel 5

Flashback to Elan, Durkon, Daigo and Lien making contact with the orcs.
Elan (inset): Everything started out peachy. We made contact with the orcs and told them we wanted to trade. They agreed to bring us to their leader.
Daigo (inset): Then things got... weird.

Panel 6

Vaarsuvius: I see. And how exactly did you manage to unintentionally offend their sovereign? Was it a personal hygiene comment, or something entirely new?
Elan: Hey, I'd resent that implication if it wan't based entirely on my actual behavior up to this point!
Durkon: Na, na, Vaarsuvius, ye don't get it—Elan was perfect.

Panel 7

Flashback to Elan speaking with chief grukgruk.
Durkon (inset): He was charmin' an' likeable, an' laid out tha details, just like Hinjo told him ta.

Panel 8

Vaarsuvius: Then what compelled such a hasty retreat?
Elan: Well, I was entertaining the Chief to try to improve his attitude one more step to Friendly—
Elan: When all of a sudden, they started bowing down and worshipping all around me!

Panel 9

Vaarsuvius: Oh, by the Great Elven Ancestors, are you honestly telling me that the savage natives mistook the civilized explorer for their deity?
Vaarsuvius: Because I think that would signify an all-time nadir for originality in this comic.
Daigo: No, you don't understand...

Panel 10

Daigo: They weren't bowing down to Elan.

Panel 11

Flashback to the orcs bowing to Banjo being held by a confused Elan.

D&D Context Edit

  • Diplomacy skill checks can be used to improve the attitude of NPCs towards the character. The possible attitudes are: Hostile, Unfriendly, Indifferent, Friendly, Helpful.

Trivia Edit

  • This is the first appearance of chief grukgruk.
  • Vaarsuvius is researching Vaarsuvius' Greater Animal Messenger. This is the first appearance of the three birds being used for that spell.

External Links Edit

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