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Sure Beats Flatware
Order of the Stick comic
OOTS0508
Comic no. 508
Date published 24 November 2007
Comic chronology
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"Fantasy Troll-Playing Game" "It Has Flowers, Hearts, and a DC 30 Lock"
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With the trolls properly disposed of, Hinjo decides the refugees need to get off the water and avoid the "random encounters" which are decimating their ranks.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

V, Durkon, Elan, Hinjo, and Lien stand on the deck next to a pair of dead burning trolls.
Durkon: …an’ by tha time we got thar, tha first boat had lost 14 crewmen, but tha second…
Vaarsuvius: There were no survivors.
Hinjo: Twelve Gods damn them!
Lien: Sir, I’ve known many sailors, and our trading routes have never suffered this many monster attacks.

Panel 2

Hinjo: I was hoping that one of our allies would allow the entire fleet to land, but I can’t wait for that anymore.
Hinjo: We’re too vulnerable to attack when we’re spread out over the entire fleet. I won’t let entire ships of civilians get picked off one at a time.

Panel 3

Hinjo: We need to find an uninhabited patch of land and settle temporarily. Only then can we protect ourselves AND focus on the task of reclaiming our home.

Panel 4

Lien: Yes, sir. The citizens can help us build a colony.
Hinjo: Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of a fort…
Elan: Oooo! I know! How about a walled city with a big castle?

Panel 5

Elan: Oh, right. We already had one of those.

Panel 6

Vaarsuvius: This discussion is fascinating, truly, but I must attend to other business elsewhere. 
Durkon: Wait, where are ye going?
Vaarsuvius: Back to my research.

Panel 7

Vaarsuvius: I need to utilize my new scrying spell to look for the halfling, as well as Sir Greenhilt (on the off-chance that he was raised without our intervention).
Vaarsuvius: I do not expect any success, but for the sake of thoroughness I must attempt it.

Panel 8

Vaarsuvius: After that, I will begin to research another new spell and cast it with regards to each of the three, and so on and so forth until I locate one of them.
Vaarsuvius: Perhaps if I enchanted some sort of finding-animal and send it out to search…
Durkon: But we need yer spells up here ta—

Panel 9

Vaarsuvius: I see no need for further discussion. Do not disturb me for anything with a Challenge Rating lower than 11.

Panel 10

Elan: Wow, V sure is dedicated to finding our friends!
Durkon: I suppose. Or ‘e’s just dedicated to winning.
Elan: What do you mean?
Durkon: …It’s na important. Let’s help wit tha clean-up.

Panel 11

Elan: I feel bad for Kazumi and Daigo, you know. Their whole wedding reception got trashed!
Durkon: Dinnae worry, lad. They got a weddin’ gift tha more than makes up fer it.
Elan: You mean being ennobled?
Durkon: Better.

Panel 12

Cut to Kazumi and Daigo. Both gain a level, "DING! DING!"
Kazumi: Welcome to 6th level, honey.
Daigo: I love you

D&D Context Edit

  • Challenge Rating, or CR is a measure of the difficulty of an encounter. Trolls are CR 5, well below V's threshold of interest, though deadly to the commoners on the ships.

Trivia Edit

  • Flatware is a traditional wedding gift.

External Links Edit

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