The Azurites try to hold off Redcloak at the junk long enough for Haley and Belkar to return. While they don't arrive yet, they do find a lost party member.
Cast[]
- The Order of the Stick
- Roy Greenhilt (as a corpse) ◀ ▶
- Haley Starshine ◀ ▶
- Elan ◀ ▶
- Belkar Bitterleaf ◀ ▶
- Durkon Thundershield ◀ ▶
- Vaarsuvius ◀ ▶
- Redcloak ◀ ▶
- Hinjo ◀ ▶
- Lien ◀ ▶
- Daigo Da- ◀ ▶
- Kazumi Kato ◀ ▶
- Captain Axe ◀ ▶
- Fiendish Octopus ▶
- Many Hobgoblins
Transcript[]
- Panel 1, Page 1
Haley and Belkar carry Roy's body across the plain.
Haley: Come on, we need to get back to the tower and through that tunnel. We need to get to the dock without fighting our way through the entire army.
- Panel 2, Page 1
Belkar: Hopefully, the—ah, crap! CRAP!
Haley: What? What is it?
- Panel 3, Page 1
Belkar: I just had the urge to say, “Hopefully, the others will have had an easier time than we have!”
Haley: Damn it! You know what that means, right?
Belkar: Yeah, that they’re almost certainly in deep sh—
- Panel 4, Page 1
Cut to the waterfront where a fiendish octopus has its tentacles all over Hinjo's junk.
- Panel 5, Page 1
Captain Axe: Sir, that fiendish octopus can crack this boat like a fortune cookie! We must leave while we can!
Hinjo: Leave the octopus to us. We’re not leaving just yet.
- Panel 6, Page 1
Hinjo: Besides, if we kill that goblin cleric now, it’ll be easier to retake the city later.
Captain Axe: But—
Hinjo: Durkon, Lien, come with me!
- Panel 7, Page 1
Elan: Oh, so you’re gonna hurt innocent civilians?
Elan: I guess it’s time I gave you a little squid pro quo!
Elan's pun has no effect on the octopus, "bink!"
- Panel 8, Page 1
He is hit by the tentacle, "WHUMPH!"
Elan: Oooof!
- Panel 9, Page 1
Hinjo: Elan, I don’t think it can hear your puns.
Elan: Are you sure? ‘Cuz Belkar has pretty much the exact same reaction whenever he hears one of them.
- Panel 10, Page 1
Durkon: We’ll handle tha gobbo an’ ‘is calamari, lad. Help Kazumi an’ Daigo hold off tha boarders.
Elan: Aye, aye, skipper.
- Panel 1, Page 2
Elan runs past a crowd of anonymous refugees.
Elan: Now I just need to figure out who “Kazumi” and “Daigo” are…
- Panel 2, Page 2
Elan: Excuse me, huddled masses! Pardon me!
He passes a red cloak amidst the huddled masses.
Elan: PC coming through! PC coming—
- Panel 3, Page 2
He stops.
- Panel 4, Page 2
Elan: Vaarsuvius?? Is that you?
Vaarsuvius: Um… hello, Elan.
- Panel 5, Page 2
Vaarsuvius: I assure you there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for why I am attempting to hide among these fugitives.
Elan: Wow! You REALLY are the smartest!
Vaarsuvius: …
Vaarsuvius: I beg your pardon?
- Panel 6, Page 2
Elan: You’re so unbelievably smart that you figured out how we were gonna escape the city, and you beat us here!
Elan: You’re like a super prophet person! Did you learn how to be a future psychic from Roy?
- Panel 7, Page 2
Vaarsuvius: It would be soothing to assert that your innocent take on the situation is, in fact, true. But I am afraid it is not that simple.
Vaarsuvius: Or rather, it is even simpler: I used my last spell, Invisibility, to flee the battle and sneak aboard the last ship in the port.
Vaarsuvius: I did not know that you or the others would also choose this means of escape when I did so, however.
- Panel 8, Page 2
Elan: Oh. Well, that’s OK, you’re here now. Come help us fight!
Vaarsuvius: Did you not listen? My LAST spell! I have no magic left with which to fight! My supposed “ultimate arcane power” has vacated my body, leaving me as powerless as these evacuees!
- Panel 9, Page 2
Elan: Oh, V, now you’re just being silly! If I let myself get hung up on only doing things that had any actual chance of success, I’d never do anything!
Elan: I mean, I cast a spell today, and it WORKED! And we all know how much my illusions suck!
- Panel 10, Page 2
Vaarsuvius: A spell?
Elan: Yeah, it was when we—
Vaarsuvius: You cast a singular spell today?
Elan: Yeah, but—
- Panel 11, Page 2
Vaarsuvius stands by Elan at the gangplank. An illusory Celestial lion guards the way from several fearful hobgoblins.
Vaarsuvius: —and by crafting an illusion that appears to be a Celestial creature, you create within your opponents the believe that you have summoned it from beyond, thus explaining it’s sudden appearance on the battlefield—
Vaarsuvius: —which is further reinforced by the presence of an existing summoned creature, i.e. the octopus.
Elan: Neat! I never thought of that!
Vaarsuvius: Now have the “lion” slowly advance, giving the hobgoblins plenty of time to retreat in the face of this new “threat”…
D&D Context[]
- Elan is likely casting Silent Image, a 1st level spell, or perhaps Major Image, a 3rd level spell if there is an auditory component.
Trivia[]
- Vaarsuvius rejoins the Order in this strip, after a period apart and some prodding from Elan.
- Chronologically, Vaarsuvius' previous appearance is in the flashback of Comic #623, "Running Away". By publication date V's previous appearance is Comic #452, "Change of Direction".
- This is the first appearance of the Fiendish Octopus.
Trivia[]
- The title considers the usefulness of a spellcaster when they have cast their last spell. Elan teaches Vaarsuvius the usefulness of uselessness.
- Elan decided Roy was a future psychic in #185, The Time Killers.