Periodic Bombardment
Order of the Stick comic
Comic no. 423
Date published 7 March 2007
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The Battle of Azure City begins with a chemistry lesson.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

A platoon of hobgoblins and a couple zombies stand next to a catapult which has just flung a projectile with an audible "kuWONNNNNNNG!"

Panel 2

Two soldiers on the walls of Azure City
Soldier #1: Incoming artillery!
Solider #2: What? Already?

Panel 3

Redcloak stands next to an older hobgoblin general. Redcloak holds a spyglass, with a "1000 gp" price tag.
Hobgoblin general: Supreme Leader, should we not have waited until we were closer? Those boulders will not reach—
Redcloak: I appreciate your input, General, but since i didn't fire boulders, your concern is unwarranted.

Panel 4

Redcloak: Boulders don't do enough collateral damage for our needs. You fire them once, then they're done.
Redcloak: That's why I summoned up a few elemental draftees to help us out.

Panel 5

The boulder has eyes.
Soldier #1: What the...?
Soldier #2: Move! Move!

Panel 6

General: Wait, are you saying that you just fired five Earth Elementals out of catapults at them???
Redcloak: Don't be ridiculous. Earth Elementals are way to heavy, they'd never fly that far.

Panel 7

The Titanium Elemental smashes a large section of the wall, "KRUNCH!!", as soldiers are sent flying. The elemental's periodic table entry reads, "22 Ti 47.867".
Redcloak (inset): I fired five Titanium Elementals at them. They're just as strong and 40% lighter.

Panel 8

Redcloak: What?
Redcloak: Hey, it's not my fault everyone else limits themselves to four elements. Some of us got passing grades in Chem.

Panel 9

Redcloak: I mean, Fire shouldn't even count. It's a chemical reaction.
Redcloak: They're not called "Reactionals," you know.
Demon Cockroach: He besieged me with SCIENCE!

D&D Context Edit

  • In D&D there are four elements: earth, air, fire, and water. There are also para-elements and quasi-elements, which are the interfaces of the four main elements. Earth elementals are beings summoned from the elemental plane of earth by a wizard or cleric to do their bidding. This strip plays on this elemental system by introducing our modern periodic table of the elements, allowing for, in this case, a titanium elemental.

Trivia Edit

External Links Edit

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