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The Most Important Place to Be

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The Most Important Place to Be
Order of the Stick comic
OOTS0417
Comic no. 417
Date published 21 February 2007
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Haley prepares the archers for battle, then prepares herself.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Haley: Hey, I've got a few special packages for Hobgoblin Ass, could you ladies deliver them for me tomorrow?
Haley: Try not to kill all of them before I get a chance to fight, though.

Panel 2

Archer: Wow... I wish I was so confident.
Haley: Heck, why shouldn't you be? You're a tough fighter chick, right?
Archer: Actually... I've never been in a real battle before.

Panel 3

Haley: Well, I'm not worried. Me and all my friends have beaten Xykon before, we'll do it again.
Haley: You just chill out and leave the heavy fighting to us!

Panel 4

O-Chul: Excuse me.
O-Chul: You know, this isn't just your adventuring party squaring off in a level-appropriate encounter.
O-Chul: This is a war. There are likely to be significant casualties.

Panel 5

O-Chul: We're outnumbered 3-to-1, outmatched, and suffering from severe morale problems—
O-Chul: —thanks to the fact that Lord Shojo died under circumstances that we can't share with the troops.
O-Chul: This is hardly the easy victory you just implied.

Panel 6

Haley: I'm sorry, but they're 1-HD hobgoblins. I think each soldier can handle 3 of them.
O-Chul: Right, because the forces of evil are always considerate enough to attack in discrete 3-person groups.
O-Chul: I'm sure they'll pause for tea and biscuits at 4 o'clock, too.

Panel 7

O-Chul: Let's say your Armor Class is so high that they need a natural 20 to hit you. Statistically, that still means that one out of every twenty attacks is still hurting you.
O-Chul: If each hobgoblin gets off 4 attacks before you can put them down, then for every 5 foes you face tomorrow, you'll be stabbed once.
O-Chul: So what are you going to do if the entire army attacks, say, the south wall?

Panel 8

O-Chul: Can you survive fighting 100 hobgoblins until we can reinforce your position?
O-Chul: How about 200?
O-Chul: 2000?
Haley: I guess I never thought about it...

Panel 9

O-Chul: Most of our soldiers are not that experienced. Even if we hold the city tomorrow, it may be the last night alive for many of those girls you just told to "chill out".
O-Chul: It might even be the last night for you, or one of your friends.

Panel 10

O-Chul: This isn't the dungeon. In a war, people on the winning side still die.
O-Chul: You might want to consider taking it somewhat seriously.

Panel 11

beat

Panel 12

Elan and Haley are holding each other on their bed.
Elan: I thought you were going to spend the night helping Roy prepare for the battle?
Haley: I had a...
Haley: ...change of priorities.

D&D Context Edit

  • Hobgoblins have one hit die (HD), or 1d8+2 hit points. An arrow can do 1d8 damage, so every hit is a potential one shot kill.
  • A roll of 20 to hit automatically hits in most situations, regardless of Armor Class (AC); O-Chul's analysis of the rules is quite accurate.

External Links Edit

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