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What's Really Scary is That He Knows the Words
Order of the Stick comic
OOTS0383
Comic no. 383
Date published 30 November 2006
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Nale is discovered by Belkar.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Nale: Ah, Nale, you handsome beast, this will be the evil frosting on a very wicked cake.
Nale: You'll wine her and dine her and then, right when she's ready to let you have her way with her, you'll kill her instead.

Panel 2

Nale: I'm sure it will be difficult to describe in words the exact mixture of shock and betrayal when "Elan" runs her through with a dagger on the cusp of the consumation[sic] of her wildest romantic fantasy—
Nale: —but maybe after this whole gate thing is resolved, I'll pop on over to my brother's jail cell and do my best to do it justice.

Panel 3

Nale: Whew, OK. Hopefully that got my natural urge to digress into a complete explanation of my evil plan out of my system.
Nale: I don't want to go all "Bond villain" and forget to finish the job.

Panel 4

Belkar: Hey Elan, you won't believe the game of Parcheesi we just—

Panel 5

beat

Panel 6

Belkar: You frickin' bastard!!
Nale: GAH!!

Panel 7

Belkar: Nale, you spineless piece of weasel crap, I'm gonna cut your—
Nale: Charm Person!

Panel 8

Belkar: —hair for you, if you'd like. It sure could use a trim.
Nale: Wow, that was close.

Panel 9

Nale: Close the door and put the daggers away.
Nale: How did you suddenly figure out it was me and not my brother?
Belkar: You smell different.
Nale: Ah... I've been wearing Elan's clothes for days, but upon bathing for my "date", my own scent must have reasserted itself...

Panel 10

Nale: Well, I can't risk you telling anyone, but I can't risk your body being found either. Let's kill to PCs with one spell, then.
Nale: If you see any of your allies before I get back, kill them and bring me their magic items.
Belkar: What?? Never!!

Panel 11

Nale: Ah, that's right... the spell will not compel the subject to do anything to which they will vehemently object.
Nale: I will need to choose my commands carefully to make them seem more reasonable.

Panel 12

Nale: If you see any of your allies, kill them and keep their magic items for yourself.
Belkar: You got it, boss.
Nale: While singing the complete score to "Meet Me in St. Louis."
Belkar: ♪"Meet me in ♪St. Louis, Louis, ♪meet me at the fair..."♪
Nale: I love being evil.

D&D ContextEdit

  • Nale accurately explains the limits of the Charm Person spell.

Trivia Edit

  • As the title points out, when Belkar is commanded to sing the score of Meet Me in St. Louis he is able to comply because he already knows it.
  • Meet Me in St. Louis was a musical film released in 1944 starring Judy Garland. Belkar is singing the opening number, "Meet Me in St. Louis, Louis".
  • Bond villains are known for explaining their plans to Bond before leaving him to die but not actually staying to make sure it takes place. Goldfinger is a prime example of this.

External Links Edit

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