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Spontaneous Artistic Expression
Order of the Stick comic
OOTS0038
Comic no. 38
Date published 12 February 2004
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"Evil, But Cost-Effective" "Date with Destiny"
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With Roy's Strength at 0, Elan and Belkar seize the moment to express their feelings about him.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Haley and Durkon walk on stage right towards Roy, who's skin is green, poison bubbles rising from his head, a harpoon in his chest and a puddle of honey and fire ants at his feet.
Haley: So, Roy, how'd that door work out for you?
Roy: Cute.
Roy: Durkon, I can't move. What's wrong with me?

Panel 2

Durkon: Ye've bin poison'd
Roy: Well, I figured that, but—
Durkon: 17 times
Roy: Oh
Haley steps on the fire ants with a "squish!"
Haley: Eww!

Panel 3

Roy: Can you heal it?
Durkon: Only the cuts. I dinnae have have tha spell prepared to heal poison. Got to ask Thor fer it in the mornin'.
Durkon: Cure Serious Wounds.

Panel 4

Haley and Durkon walk off stage right
Durkon: Until then, ye'll be stuck with a Strength o' zero.
Roy: Sigh. I guess we're resting here, then. I'm too heavy for any of you to carry.

Panel 5

Belkar and Elan enter stage left, smiling

Panel 6

Belkar pokes Roy. "poke!"
Roy: Hey!

Panel 7

Elan pokes Roy, "poke! poke!" Belkar pokes Roy, "poke!"
Roy: HEY! Stop it!

Panel 8

Elan and Belkar give evil grins. Belkar: Heh heh heh.

Panel 9

Cut to Durkon with off screen "scribble! crash!"
Elan (off-panel): Hee!
Roy (off panel): Hey!! What are you—quit it! Get off me! Get away!
Belkar (off-panel): Heh! heh!

Panel 10

Cut back to Roy as Durkon enters stage right, and Elan and Belkar are departing stage left. A series of drawings have been made in red crayon on Roy and on the wall that he is propped up against. Some of them make speech bubbles that appear to originate at Roy
Wall Speech Bubble #1: "My name is Roy and I like to yell at all my friends! Blah blah blah!"
Arrow pointing to Roy: "Lawful stupid"
Roy has big ears, horns, glasses, a goatee and the word "LOSER" written on him.
Wall Speech Bubble #2: I have a MBA
Wavy lines emanate from Roy, culminating with "Stinky!"
On the floor some type of carnivore says: "I eat you stinky roy!"
Roy: I hate them. So much.
Belkar: I'm gonna see if I can scrape some of that poison off that trap!
Elan: Think of the fun at parties!

D&D Context Edit

  • Poison in D&D often does damage to one's Strength or Constitution stats. If a character's Strength is reduced to zero they become unable to move.
  • Lawful Stupid is a derogatory term for characters who adhere to the rules even at stupid cost to themselves, particularly Lawful Good characters whose rigid adherence to morality drives them into dumb situations.

Trivia Edit

  • This is the final appearance of the Fire Ants, who first appeared in #36.

External Links Edit

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