Maybe the Quailtiger?
Order of the Stick comic
Comic no. 322
Date published 10 June 2006
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Vaarsuvius applies their mind to the question of weird wizard husbandry practices.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Roy: Well at least SOMEONE gets to ride.
Durkon: Sorry, lad.
Elan: Hey Roy! Is that one of the tests?

Panel 2

Roy: Considering we're still two days from the entrance of the valley, my gut says, "No.".
Roy: It's probably just a random encounter.
Belkar: Looks like an owlbear. I don't think it's seen us.

Panel 3

Vaarsuvius: Why?
Roy: Why what?
Vaarsuvius: Why would anyone crossbreed a perfectly serviceable bear with an owl?

Panel 4

Roy: Who knows? I mean, no offense, but wizards do some wacky crap from time to time.
Vaarsuvius: But there's no tangible benefit to this pairing. It can't even fly.

Panel 5

Elan: Maybe it's natural? Like a bear and an owl fell in love?
Belkar: If so, I hope the owl was the male and the bear was the female, rather than the other way around. Ouch.

Panel 6

Vaarsuvius: No, no, it is clearly the result of magic. I simply cannot fathom the intended purpose...
Vaarsuvius: A bear is already a dangerous predator; what benefit is there in breeding it with a smaller, weaker, less frightening creature?

Panel 7

Vaarsuvius: What should we expect next? The dreaded bunnywolf? The ferocious penguinlion? Perhaps the terrible ducksnake?

Panel 8

Vaarsuvius: Utterly ridiculous.
Belkar: Now, now. The owlbear has its uses. Watch this.

Panel 9

Belkar: HEY! Wise Mister Owlbear! How many licks does it take to get to the chewy elven center of a Vaarsuvius Pop?

Panel 10

Belkar shoves Vaarsuvius toward the owlbear, "shove!"

Panel 11

Vaarsuvius is swallowed whole by the owlbear
Owl bear: one.

D&D Context Edit

  • The owlbear was created by D&D inventor Gary Gygax, inspired by a Chinese toy. It was first published in the 1975 D&D (0th edition) supplement Greeyhawk supplement, and also in the 1976 Eldritch Wizardry supplement. It was featured on the original cover art of the 1977 AD&D (1st edition) Monster Manual and has gone on to be included in every subsequent edition of the game. V here makes fun of the creature's absurdity, but it is a classic of the game.

Trivia Edit

  • Belkar's last line is a reference to a commercial for Tootsie Pops, which used the catch phrase "How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?"
  • This is the final appearance of Durkon's Pony, which he inexplicably does not ride in subsequent strips. The pony first appeared in #140, My Little Pony.
  • This is the first appearance of the Owlbear.

External Links Edit

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