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Internal Dialogue
Order of the Stick comic
OOTS0311
Comic no. 311
Date published 1 May 2006
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Haley encounters her inner demon, who looks suspiciously like Dark Mistress Shadowgale.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1, Page 1

Elan: And then, Sir Francois and I decided to track the troll back to its lair...
Haley (thinking): Well THIS sure isn't turning out the way I had hoped for.

Panel 2, Page 1

Haley's Self-Loathing: Yeah, seriously, this is the dullest excuse for a date since you went out with Darren Leafsword back in 8th grade.
Haley (thinking): What the hell??

Panel 3, Page 1

Haley's Self-Loathing: Oh, me? I'm the imaginary personification of your self-loathing.
Haley's Self-Loathing: Don't worry, I'm not actually here, this is all in your head.
Haley's Self-Loathing: Now scooch over a little.

Panel 4, Page 1

Haley: You look like I did as a teenager.
Haley's Self-Loathing: How else would you expect your self-loathing to look?
Haley: Good point.

Panel 5, Page 1

Haley: So, I guess this clinches the "brain damage" theory?
Haley's Self-Loathing: No, you're just imagining this conversation because you need someone to point out why you're screwing this up.

Panel 6, Page 1

Haley: Hey, I TRIED to tell Elan my secrets! It didn't work!
Haley's Self-Loathing: Oh really? You tried?
Haley: Yes! It was still gibberish.

Panel 7, Page 1

Haley's Self-Loathing: Maybe it was gibberish because on some level, you KNEW he wouldn't understand what you were saying, so you were safe from actually telling him anything.

Panel 8, Page 1

Haley's Self-Loathing: Did you try grabbing him and kissing him? Because I'm pretty sure that would get the message across, even to Elan.
Haley: Well, uh... no.

Panel 9, Page 1

Haley's Self-Loathing: Haley Starshine, you are far too smart to indulge in that kind sophistry.
Haley: I don't think I knew what "sophistry" meant when I was 15.

Panel 10, Page 1

Haley's Self-Loathing: You know darn well that you could communicate your intentions to Elan without words.
Haley's Self-Loathing: (Though I'm pretty sure your tongue would still be involved.)

Panel 11, Page 1

Haley's Self-Loathing: You don't do it for the same reason you never told him when you COULD speak: Fear.
Haley's Self-Loathing: You're afraid to let Elan in, to show him who you are when you're not lying.

Panel 12, Page 1

Haley: You don't understand!
Haley's Self-Loathing: I'm you, Haley, I understand just fine!
Haley: He wouldn't like me if he knew me!

Panel 1, Page 2

Haley: I'm... not good enough.
Haley's Self-Loathing: Hey now, I'm the one who's the personification of self-loathing here. Stop muscling in on my territory.

Panel 2, Page 2

Haley's Self-Loathing: Besides, you don't know—
Haley: Yes I do!! Everyone else left!
Haley: Don't you see, Elan's better than they were, and they all left!!

Panel 3, Page 2

Haley's Self-Loathing: Just like Mom left?
Haley: And Kyran. And Rachel, and... all the others.
Haley: Everyone good and pure who gets close to me eventually leaves I'm ... not good enough.

Panel 4, Page 2

Haley's Self-Loathing: So you hide behind secrets and lies, believing that if no one ever knows your heart, no one can ever really hurt you.
Haley: ...
Haley: It's worked so far.

Panel 5, Page 2

Haley's Self-Loathing: Yeah, it's shaping up nicely for you.
Haley's Self-Loathing: Face it, Haley: You are never going to get your speech back until you stop hiding!
Haley: But I'm a rogue...

Panel 6, Page 2

Haley (thinking): ...Hiding is my best skill.

D&D Context Edit

  • Rogues have high dexterity and have Hide as a class skill.
  • If Hide is truly Haley's best skill, it is likely maxed out at a rank of 18+.

Trivia Edit

  • This is the first appearance of the most important of the various manifestations of Haley's personality, Haley's Self-Loathing. Haley's Self-Loathing is identical to Haley as a teenager when she called herself Dark Mistress Shadowgale, in #93, Teenage Wasteland.
  • This is the first time Elan gives the name of Sir Francois, for whom he was a squire. He first mentioned him, though not by name, in #141. Sir Francois does not appear in person until #415.

External Links Edit

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