|Order of the Stick comic|
|Date published||10 February 2006|
|View the comic|
Mr. Rodriguez breaks out the Comedically Large Boot.
- Roy Greenhilt ◀ ▶
- Elan ◀ ▶
- Durkon Thundershield ◀ ▶
- Celia ◀ ▶
- The Lawyers
- Panel 1
Durkon: ...an' then tha goblins led us through tha hills to tha dungeon.
- Panel 2
Celia: What was your purpose in that dungeon?
Durkon: Well, we were thar ta beat Xykon, a right nasty lich.
- Panel 3
Celia: And when you say, "beat", what do you mean by that?
Durkon: Well, uh, to destroy 'im. An' ta wreck whatever plans he be plannin'.
- Panel 4
Mr. Jones: Ah, I see where she's going. A classic Unlikely Heroes defense.
Mr. Jones: We might have some success citing precedent.
- Panel 5
Mr. Jones: Get me the case files for Sauron v. Baggins, Takhisis v. Everman, and... Riddle v. Board of Education.
Mr. Rodriguez: How about Witch v. Gale?
Mr. Jones: Hmmmm. Yeah, OK, but East, not West.
- Panel 6
Mr. Rodriguez: Should we use the giant boot?
Mr. Jones: I'm not sure that—
Mr. Jones: Wait, did you just say "giant boot"?
- Panel 7
Mr. Rodriguez: Sure! The Comedically Large Boot! It never fails at trial.
Mr. Jones: Considering that your oversized footwear has no connection to any of the facts of this case, I think it's due.
- Panel 8
Mr. Rodriguez: Aw, c'mon, it's so distracting, who could possibly form a defense against it?
Mr. Rodriguez: "Look at me, I'm a big giant boot! Wooooo!"
- Panel 9
Mr. Rodriguez: Plus, you can use it in your closing argument.
Mr. Rodriguez: "If the boot doesn't fit, you must acquit."
- Panel 10
Mr. Jones: Putting aside for the moment that that particular joke has been done to death, we're the prosecution, Phil. We don't WANT an acquittal.
Mr. Rodriguez: Oh.
Mr. Jones: Now get out of that thing and help me get ready for cross-examination.
- Panel 11
Elan: You could change it to, "If by the boot you've been kicked, you must convict."
Mr. Rodriguez: Sweet! Thanks!
- Panel 12
Roy: Elan! What have I told you about assisting the enemy with their rhyming scheme?
Elan: Sigh. "If you help with their verse, you'll just make things worse."
- In the fifth panel, Mr. Jones refers to The Lord Of the Rings, Dragonlance, Harry Potter, and The Wizard of Oz.
- The giant boot is a reference to the trial of O.J. Simpson, in which the famous phrase "If it doesn't fit, you must acquit" was used. This might also be a reference to the Chewbacca defense.