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I Cannae Tell a Lie

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I Cannae Tell a Lie
Order of the Stick comic
OOTS0264
Comic no. 264
Date published 6 January 2006
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"The Great Escape" "A Tale of Two Paladins"
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Durkon tells the truth... technically.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

As Roy goes to open the door to the cell block, a sound comes from the other side, "clank! clank! clank! clank!"
Haley: Aqmd. Rmtdwx!

Panel 2

Haley pushes Roy away from the door.
Haley: Fqgj mx dow gwrrt! Fqgj! FQGJ!!!
Roy: What the—?

Panel 3

Miko enters through the door, just as the cell doors shut off-panel, "CLANG! CLANG!"
Miko: Lord Shojo has—

Panel 4

Miko: What was that noise? Were those the cell doors? You were trying to escape!
Elan: What? That's silly! How could we possibly escape when these doors are still securely locked?

Panel 5

The cell door swings slowly open, "creeeeeeeck".

Panel 6

Elan: Did I say "securely locked"? I meant—
Miko: Honorless pig! I know you were plotting to escape! Luckily, there is still one of you whose word I trust.

Panel 7

Miko: Durkon, I know you would not lie to me. Were they trying to flee?
Durkon: Huh? Um, well, see...

Panel 8

Durkon: I can swear on Thor's beard that the five of us never left our cells.

Panel 9

Miko: Then what of the cell doors? How did they become unlocked?
Durkon: Sigh. Yer right, lass. I cannae lie to ye...
Roy: No, no, no!

Panel 10

Durkon: 'Twas a mechanical defect.

Panel 11

Miko: A mechanical... oh. Very well, then, I suppose you were not trying to escape after all.
Miko: Either way, I have been sent to collect you. Lord Shojo has now requested your immediate presence. We will gather the halfling on the way.

Panel 12

Roy (whispering): "Mechanical defect"?
Durkon (whispering): I dunno, I count, "able to be picked by a rogue," as a pretty major defect, aye?

D&D Context Edit

  • Listen checks are governed by Wisdom. Haley has not had much success in Spot checks in the past, but apparently made her check here. Elves, like V, get +2 to Listen checks, though V does not seem to notice the soldiers in this case.

Trivia Edit

  • The translations of Haley's lines are:
    • Panel 1: Wait. Listen!
    • Panel 2: Back in the cells! Back! BACK!!
  • Durkon does not technically lie because:
    • Only four of them left their cells.
    • Being able to be picked constitutes a mechanical defect in Durkon's opinion.

External Links Edit

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